My heart hurts. I can't think of a good reason why. It just
hurts. Can't think about it. Can't think about us, about
what will happen. I hate myself - as always. My tears come
from themselves. I don't know what the hell I'm suppose to
do with myself, with everything. School is getting bad... My
life is getting worse. Where to put myself? I'm lost. I'm
hurting. My heart is about to break down. What am I doing?
Worthless, pointless, headless, meaningless pathetic little
girl like myself. Why am I crying? Because I have no
solutions, and it hurts so much... Have I lost my point of
living? Have I gain one at some point of my life? I'm not
sure now... Not any more... It all seems so worthless, so
pathetic. My whole problems. I lost the people I could have
talk with. They are all gone, and I was left alone - to
dealt with my worth enemy - my greatest fear - with myself.
The worse part is - I don't want it! I can't care less than
I already do. Dead, alive, happy, miserable... I just don't
care anymore. Sometimes I wish I would be dead - others, I'm
happy to be here, but most of the times - I'm so tiered from
it all, I just don't see any reason for living, nor dieing.
My life is empty, completely empty. It's a sad thing. Have
no life. What is life? Is it love? Have no love... Is it
happiness? Well - what is happiness? I feel like I haven't
got a soul in this world I could complain to, cry to. Nor
best friend, nor sister or any other family member can deal
with it. They are not willing to deal with it. My problems
are minor. My being is unneeded, insignificant. I see it
this way - so should them. Mainly I wish it all to be behind
me. I used to live for the future, now I just don't see it
as a good enough reason. What's the point living - not now,
but in a few years? My whole life I spent thinking like
that, when I'll get 14, 16, 20... Nothing is going to
change, not in the next month - neither in 30 years. Same
life, same shitty girl. When did I stop caring? When did I
start?

I just want to stop the pain, that's all...