World Ideologies (Referencing Cows)


Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them
in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care
of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you
need.

Bureaucratic Socialism
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to
take care of the chickens the government took from the
chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and
eggs the regulations say you should need.

Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to
take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.

Real World Communism
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your
neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who
has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets
any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the
government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk
as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the
Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you
can and sell it on the "free" market.

Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.


Militarianism
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.


Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they
ever existed. Milk is banned.

Pure Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.


Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you
who gets the milk.

British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go
mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what
you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays
you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks
the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it
requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing
cows.

Pure Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price
or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

Pure Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Capitalism
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to
buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as
collateral.

Enviromentalism
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or
killing them.

Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a
symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant
past) two differently - aged (but no less valuable to
society) bovines of non-specified gender.

Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.