Just the thought of you makes me wince. And I sit here,
curled like a ball with shattered pieces of something that
was once called my heart; one piece was the part you took
for granted, one piece was the one you treated like a fool
and the other is my love that was given to you but never got
something back in return. And it hurts.
I close my eyes and try to push you away. It's something I
cannot commit, doesn't matter how much I try and how much I
want. And boy, do I want! I want to forget about you, to
forget about the things we've been gone through, to forget
about a bittersweet symphony called 'us'. To stop those
sickening thoughts about what you've done, to stop these
warm tears on my freezing skin, to stop those sobs when I
cry myself to sleep. And it hurts.
Excuses come so easy when you want to... and you try to
defend yourself. To take all the greasy guilt off of you,
showing the world the fake innocence and loveliness you've
never showed to me before. And you take it on me... and all
of a sudden I'm the dark, selfish scapegoat. It's all my
fault after all, innit? Letting you do something so horrible
to me. And you take your trademark grin and caring looks and
you've got them all by your side. And what about me? -- it
hurts. Oh boy, it hurts.
I've done nothing wrong and yet I'm being judged by people
who never got to know me, but think they know the truth. And
they don't. They know your truth... your lies and
deceiving. You just fold your arms and watch me being locked
in a big bubble. I scream and cry but no one's there.
Nobody's listening and nobody can hear me. And I feel myself
shatter once again into thousands of pieces but there's no
one out there to collect them back and put them back into
place. Because I'm all alone, with you on my mind... and it
hurts.
Hiding myself from the world, curled up on the bed and my
arms around me... wishing they were your arms. Wishing I
could turn back the hands of time and put everything in its
place. Build a beautiful place just for the two of us... and
you're not yourself. You're someone who feels the way I do
for you, someone who would never do what you did. Someone
who could never hurt me like you did. I feel warm tears
escaping the edge of my eyes, making their way down my
cheeks and wetting my face. My skin burns as I recall it's
been the only thing that came close to the warmth of your
skin against mine. If only you could love me the way I love
you... because I'm hurt.
And I cry because you hurt.