I can't say the words

That have to be spoken,
I can't do the things

I yearn to do.
The need I feel is sometimes stronger,
While most times I forget it is even there;
The need to compete, to be first, in a craven
Is indeed a terrible thing to bear.
In the moment of truth, when faced with a crowd,

Where there is no place to hide,
The urges, ideas that come to my head,

Grant me a glimpse of what is to be mad...
To climb a pillar, supporting the lighting,
Then jump, down, unto the stage.
To scream at the top of my lungs to be noticed;
But no. I am at the corner. Afraid.
Afraid to let loose that person inside,

Yet I so wish to be him...
Will that someday I'd be able to say
What I feel, to be real. Let my soul finally heal!
Let me be one with myself, not two alternating.
Give me strength and courage
.To face what Life would bring