to Haggai, my one and only, who keeps me here, and to all
those who are close enough to me to do the same



Abandoned and broken I'm sitting here, shaking out the cold
I'm left here with no soul to embrace me, but an iceberg to
cut through the flesh
Waiting for the gloom to disinfect and unfold
I smother a cry as I let it dig manically, tear, scar and
slash
And out of the frost, my warm blood storms out,
Carries all the fractions of self-grudge and dislike along
It's time for me to melt away and fade out
And for the angels of yearning to chant a mourning song

And then a voice calls out, and my name it is carrying with
despair
It sends chills down my spine and an alarm up my mind
It wraps me warmly, shields me from the cruelty of the air
And it says, oh so gentle and unaffectedly kind,
"I'll collect all the shatters of the dark tears you shed
And I'll beg you to melt into my arms
For your tears may fall from your eyes and then fade
But their fog fills the empty space in my heart"

His effigy then arise, more concrete than any hope
And a moonbeam lights upon his face, another beautiful
victim of the ice
I can now let both our bodies up to the top
As he can bring both our souls up to the rise






May 2000