I sat in the corner, the darkest one I could find. I didn't
mean to, but I just did. Something inside was probably
seeking for something to unite with.
I lied there, it was his bed. I must have came there for his
comfort.
I didn't move. I cried without a sound, merely letting the
endless stream of tears keep finding its path onto my
cheeks. Then they have split, some routed right into my
mouth, while the others wetted the bed.
They were warm and salty.
My only movement was the shaking of my body, fearing of that
bitter disappointment.
The only sound was this of my heart, beating hard like harsh
poking swords in my chest.
He said things will be fine, reminded me how much he loves
me and how many others do too and how many more chances will
I have.
Then he kissed me, he thought how cold my lips were. I could
sense it.
I didn't cooperate, I was lamenting.
The taste of my tears made him sad, "I hate to see you like
this", he said.
I answered with silence, kept looking above, where his eyes
randomly were. I peered at them, but didn't peer at them.
The pain and shudder were so hard and every comfort just
grew them bigger.
Then it broke, I began crying aloud, gesturing for a hug. He
leaned to hold me and I sat down. I was hugging him, laying
my head on his shoulder and letting the tears fall on it.
He held my head with his one hand, and my shoulder with the
other, embracing me.
"I am so stupid!" I wept. "No, you are not stupid, everyone
falls sometimes, the primal thing is to learn from it" he
answered softly.
Thinking, this lecture is usually coming out of my mouth.
Made me wonder how much does it actually help others when I
preach these words.
I feel so broken and lost.