I'm Almost There

I felt I have to write
Because I don't know how to paint
I felt I have to sing
Because frankly I couldn't wait
Don't say a word, please don't mimic
You know love is not sort of a gimmick

I felt I have to leave
Because I can't live here anymore
I felt no one notices me
I'm like an elephant in a porcelain store
I break everything, including your heart
I collects fractions
I collect something I don't own
               
I felt I have to say something
Because deep inside I explode
I felt lonely and numb
And this is why I wrote this ode
I owed my tears to heaven
I owed my feeling to you

I knew I have to pass
Because love I always miss
I knew I have to guess
Because I didn't mind your kiss
Only disappearing in this cold night
Thoughts awoke and didn't think aright

I spite everyone, I bother minds
I fly away, a beautiful angel blinds
I close my eyes, I'm not alone
My eyelashes sharpen by a cold hone
A Japanese animator once glued me to his sheet
He enclosed my moods, life and a heartbeat
It looked odd, it certainly was unreal
But somehow he knew exactly how I feel

He finished with a preacher, wallpapered the best parts
Hanged it on my wall, tried to get into people's hearts
The painter I always wanted to be
But I write only words, and it's frustrating me
He left me a drawing, tears are in my eyes
I felt I have to destroy my poems, and so the legend dies
I wax my love, because it doesn't exist
I wax my feelings, because I'm pissed
I demolished
I accomplished
My mission
Don't want to live on paper
I want to live on a real layer
Full of life,
Half life
Off life,
I felt.