December 23, 2005



It is very cold, dark and wet outside.
I hate it when the rain comes. I hate it when it starts to
fall, on and on and on, and never ends. But most of all, I
hate the fact that so many lonely nights have passed since I
saw you for the last time. So many nights which seem like an
eternity, so miserable so... missing you? I'm trying to
close my eyes and look for the memory of your face, the
memory of your smile, which used to make me smile too. Your
eyes, that without saying anything I knew exactly what they
were trying to say. Your hands, which seemed to be so
strong, so firm, though only I knew, only I felt their soft
touch when you had touched me. But I can't now. I don't see
anything familiar, not even a few of the words you have told
me. Your lips...
Finally the moment comes. You are looking at me, and I am
staring at you. Face to face, heart to heart, and I see you
different, not the one you used to be when we were together.
Your eyes are looking at me as if I was someone else. Your
lips speak but your eyes are still showing distance.
Time is over like nothing, you are going far away from me,
telling me you need to go. And I can't do anything,
paralyzed, doing the same as you, ignoring my feelings,
hiding the tears that want to fall on and on, just like the
rain, without any intention to stop.
Can it be more painful? Can this memory be so real, so
cruel, and at the same time look like an illusion? I should
have known it won't be forever, I should have seen it
coming. Now, I need to let you go, need to feel free, need
to be smart and strong enough to go on my way, make my
mistakes, and learn from them for the next time. But will it
help? Will it make me look ahead and not look back into the
past, wondering whether what I did was right or wrong?
It's so cold, dark and wet outside. I hate it when the rain
comes; I hate it when it starts to fall, on and on and on.
But now, it has already ended.


נ.ב תודה לך :)