S O A P
( A short script by Yair Packer )

FADE IN:

INT. DRUGSTORE. DAY

The drugstore is empty.  Two women( Debbie 27 and Helen 35
the owner ) sit on stools and talk.  The door opens and Dan
( 30 ) enters.  He goes to one of the shelves and searches.
Debbie and Helen look at him.  He goes on searching.  Debbie
leaves her stool and goes to him.

DEBBIE
Hi Dan.  Can I help you ?

DAN
Yeah.  A soap.

DEBBIE
We got a large variety of soaps.

DAN
Devlin.

DEBBIE
Afraid I'm not familiar with Devlin.
(beat)
You sure?

DAN
Sure I'm sure.  The package has a kind of a view on it.
Olive Green.

DEBBIE
(to Helen)
Helen.  Do we stock a Devlin soap?

HELEN
Never heard of it and I've been in the business for 10
years.

DAN
My mom used to bath me with it.

DEBBIE
Oh.

DAN
What's that " ho " supposed to mean Debbie?

DEBBIE
Nothing.
(beat)
If you can tell me what kind of a design it had on the
packaging...

DAN
A house in the country.

Helen comes over.

HELEN
Did you say it was green ?

DAN
Yeah.  Olive green.

HELEN
Could it be bottle green ?

DAN
No.  Why?

Helen goes to the shelf and looks.

HELEN
Sometime they change names but keep the design.

Helen takes several soaps off the shelf.  Debbie looks at
her.  Melinda ( 55 ) enters.

DAN
Well ?

HELEN
Sorry.  There is no soap with a house design on it.  You did
say it was Devlin ?

DEBBIE
His mom used to bath him with Devlin.  It was olive green.

MELINDA
Did you say olive green ?

DAN
Yeah.

Melinda starts to cry.  Dan, Helen and Debbie look at her.
Melinda takes out a tissue and blows her nose.

DEBBIE
Melinda please.

MELINDA
I'm all right dear.  Just fine.

DAN
Did I say anything?

HELEN
Yeah. " Devlin ".

MELINDA
With the country house on the packaging.  
(beat)
Bottle green.

HELEN
He said olive green.

MELINDA
He does not remember or he's color blind.

DAN
Yes I do and I'm not color blind.  The country house had 10
windows.  Five on the first floor and five on the second.

MELINDA
Eight.

DEBBIE
My uncle's house has eight windows.

HELEN
The one in Haley village ?

DEBBIE
No.  That's my aunt house.

DAN
Where the hell is Haley?

DEBBIE
It's in Florida.

MELINDA
My Nino lives there.  His wife Lorraine hates me.

DAN
You Italian?

MELINDA
No.  Why?

HELEN
Well Nino is an Italian name.

DEBBIE
I know a Carlo and he's Chinese.

DAN
Why does your son's wife hate you?

MELINDA
It's non of your business.

A phone rings and Helen goes away.

DEBBIE
( to Melinda)
What did you want Melinda?

DAN
Debbie.  I was here first.

DEBBIE
But we don't have Devlin soap.

DAN
Maybe you got another brand with olive green packaging?

Melinda takes out a tissue.

DEBBIE
You aiming to start again Melinda?

MELINDA
It's that olive green of his.  I just can't help it.

DAN
Can't help what?

MELINDA
Allergy.
(she blows her nose)
To olive green.  Just thinking about it.

Dan and Debbie exchange looks.

DEBBIE
It's a joke right ?

Helen comes back.

HELEN
Love jokes.  Who's telling what ?

DEBBIE
Melinda here was saying that she is allergic to thoughts
about olive green.

Melinda sneezes.

DAN
Bless you.

HELEN
No one is allergic to thoughts.

MELINDA
I am.  Dr.Spivak said so.

DEBBIE
John or Pat?

MELINDA
Dr. John Spivak.  Pat is a dentist.
(she opens her mouth wide)
See.  Root canal.  Pat did that.

Helen starts taking out bars of soap from the shelf.  She
picks one.  It's green.  She holds it in front of her.

DAN
This is not Devlin.

HELEN
No.  But it's green.
(to Melinda)
Bottle green.

DAN
Olive green.
(beat)
Touching on blue.

HELEN
Melinda I don't see you sneezing.

MELINDA
Because to me it's bottle green.

DAN
OK.

DEBBIE
OK what ?

DAN
You don't stock Devlin so I am going to look somewhere
else.

Dan walks out of the drugstore.

MELINDA
What's the matter with him ?

DEBBIE
His mom used to bath him with Devlin.

MELINDA
His mom never bought a soap in her life.  She worked in
Metropol Hotel and stole soaps.  Believe me they don't give
Devlin to their guests.

DEBBIE
That's not called stealing.  It's just lifting.

MELINDA
Only when you're young it's called lifting.

Dan comes back.  He brings a police officer Greg ( 30 ) with
him.

HELEN
Greg.  What are you doing here ?
(beat)
He's my brother.

GREG
Dan asked me.

HELEN
Whatever for ?

DAN
Show Greg the bar of soap.  Go on show him.

HELEN
Why?

DAN
Because it's not bottle green.

MELINDA
Right.

DAN
Touching on blue.

GREG

Helen gives Greg the bar of soap.  Greg looks at it very
closely.  They all watch him.

DEBBIE
Well?

GREG
Stop rushing me OK Debbie

DEBBIE
You start that again ?

MELINDA
What do you mean again ?

DEBBIE
Never mind.

GREG
It was two years ago.

DEBBIE
And three months.

MELINDA
27 months...

HELEN
Shut the fuck up Melinda.
(to Greg)
What happened between you and Debbie two years ago ?

GREG
Leave it Helen.  No big deal.

DEBBIE
Maybe for you it's not a big deal.

DAN
Meaning?

HELEN
Stay out of it Dan.
(to Greg)
Still waiting Gregory.

GREG
Oh.

MELINDA
Oh what?

GREG
Calling me Gregory is a bad sign.  A very bad sign.

DEBBIE
You want me to tell her?

Greg goes to the display window of the drugstore.  Helen
follows him.

HELEN
Well?

GREG
The light is better here.

Greg examines the bar of soap.

HELEN
I'm waiting.
(beat)
Was it Susan?

GREG
I think Dan was right.  It's olive green.

HELEN
Why did you tell Debbie not to rush you ?

GREG
You know what mom thought of her.

HELEN
A good thought never entered her mind.

GREG
Debbie said she had enough waiting.

HELEN
Can't blame her after two years.

GREG
Yeah.

HELEN
Dumb.

GREG
I know and now it's too late.

HELEN
No.  It's not.  She and Fred...

Dan comes over.  He looks at Helen and Greg and takes the
bar of soap off Greg's hand.

DAN
So?

HELEN
Go back Dan.
(beat)
Tell you what.  Take any soap you want.  Free.  A gift from
me.  Just get the hell out of my store.

DAN
So you saying this soap is olive green?

GREG
Why're you making such an issue from a goddamn color ?
Maybe it is olive green.  Who cares ?

Melinda sneezes and wipes her nose.

GREG (CONT'D)
Bless you.

MELINDA
Allergy.

DAN
So.
(beat)
What shade of green is it ?

HELEN
Please Dan.  Just leave.
(to Greg)
Make him.

GREG
Dan's my best friend.

HELEN
Do it.

GREG
But Helen.

HELEN
Do it.

GREG
You heard her.  It's her store.

DAN
I've done nothing wrong.

GREG
Let's step outside for a moment Dan.

HELEN
Not so fast Greg.

DAN
I am a good customer. Tell him Helen.

GREG
Just want to talk to you.

HELEN
Greg you coming back in here.  We've a few things to
settle.

GREG
I'll be back Helen.  Just don't order me around.

Greg takes hold of Dan's hand.  Dan resists.

DAN
You can't make me leave.

GREG
Yes I can.

Greg twists Dan's hand and takes him out.  Helen watches
them.  She walks back to Debbie and Melinda.  All the soaps
are on the floor.

DEBBIE
No Devlin and no green package with a country house on it.

MELINDA
I think Dan was right.  The house had ten windows not
eight.
(beat)
Anyway I'm sure his mom never used Devlin on him.

DEBBIE
Could be he is pervert.

Helen starts to put back the soaps in the shelf.

MELINDA
(to Helen)
Did he tell you?

HELEN
Who?

MELINDA
Greg.  Did he tell you?

Helen gets up.

HELEN
He did and it's none of your fucking business.

MELINDA
Watch the way you talking to me Helen Frezner.  Say you're
sorry or I'll never set foot in your store.

DEBBIE
Now Melinda.

HELEN
Let her walk out.  Three times a year she comes in and buys
two packs of tissue and on the way out she pockets a
lipstick.
(beat)
And you know what?  She still looks awful.

MELINDA
Well I never...

Greg walks in.  He's smiling.

GREG
Had to cuff him to the railing outside Albert's coffee shop.
Near the bicycles.

MELINDA
This I got to see.

Melinda walks out.  Helen bends down and picks up the soaps.
She puts them on the shelf.

DEBBIE
Let me do that Helen.

HELEN
Almost done.

Greg hands the bar of soap to Debbie.

DEBBIE
Well.  Did Dan make up his mind about the shade of green?

GREG
I did.

DEBBIE
You made up his mind for him ?

GREG
Fuck Dan.I made up my mind for me.

DEBBIE
You did ?

GREG
How about April 23rd ?  I got a leave coming up.

DEBBIE
You asking or telling ?

GREG
You got to.
(beat)
Will you marry me Deborah Shanson?

Helen gets up.  Greg's beeper goes on.  He takes it out and
shuts it.

DEBBIE
Yeah.  I guess I will.

GREG
May I...

Greg comes closer to Debbie.  Helen comes between them.

HELEN
Debbie. We're short on Dove. Bring me some from the back
room and take Greg with you.

Debbie and Greg walk away to the back room.

HELEN (CONT'D)
No rush.

Helen looks after them.

HELEN (CONT'D)
Nuts about green.

End.

© 2000 Yair Packer
Yair Packer
P.O.Box 33444
Tel Aviv 61333, Israel.