John looked at the boat that was floating next to the pier.
A clear tear was sliding down his cheek, leaving a wet trail
along his face. From distance, he could still make out her
hand, waiving toward him. In the past few weeks he had been
living a dream, one that could hardly ever take place in
real life. They met by coincidence, and since then it seemed
as if nothing could break them apart, At least not till she
had to leave. Her future was waiting for her in the
distance, with a brand new job, and many new friends. The
good old feeling had started to spread along his veins and
arteries. The tear had nearly dried out, and a vague smile
grew larger. The ninth cloud was calling him, and he was
making his way toward it like a speedboat racing back to
shore.

There was something about saying goodbye that gave him
great pleasure. It could have been the sorrow of others, but
more likely it had to do with an addiction to the feeling of
sadness and the body responses that it had stimulated in
him. A long time ago, before he had learned to control and
channel the burst of emotions that each farewell had brought
upon him, John talked to one of his few friends. She was a
psychology major so she tried to go down to the bottom of
this oddity, unfortunately, without any outstanding answers.
After that he ceased to care anymore for the reason. One has
to realize that John had gained joy out of any sort of
goodbye, even those in which he knew he was going to meet
the other person on the next day or week. However, the heart
steering, breathtaking feeling was a result of a final
goodbye or breakup. John became obsessed with the whole
idea, trying to make the most out of each farewell. After
becoming somewhat bored with just saying goodbye to people,
he started to spice things up. There were months when he
tried to create different settings for each of the
farewells, attempting to imitate famous movie scenes or
choosing a specific location for the act. It got pretty
absurd when he was repeating the words of "Gone With The
Wind" to one of his friends. Another embarrassing incident
was when he insisted on making a big scene on the subway,
leaving his companion with difficulties to understand why
John was reluctant to wait until they would get the main
station. It simply wasn't the site for that day. After he
had finished changing locations John switched to wardrobe
modifications. He stuck to it even when the wool jacket turn
came right in mid July. The obsession reached it's peak when
he started to record every single detail regarding his
farewells, including his specifics about his feelings (what
parts of his body were involved, what was the duration of
the feeling, etc.) He wrote all his remarks in his "Journey
Journal," though he had never actually left his home town.
Relationships never lasted more than a few weeks. John had
great trouble waiting for his breakup dose. After all, those
were the kind of goodbyes that unleashed the greatest amount
of emotions. Making excuses for breaking up was his main
concern once he was dating someone, and occasionally he had
come up with a creative reason like entering the space
program and having to take a serious training regime; one
that his personal life should not interfere with.

The ritual had continued for a long while, until he met
Janet. John met her at the bookshop, where he used to wonder
through the long columns of books stacked in the wooden
shelves, looking for some inspiration for his next goodbye.
On one of these tours, while walking through the isle, John
had noticed a brown, shorthaired head staring down at a
traveling book. Once he got closer, a pair of beautiful
round eyes greeted him with a heat capturing smile. John
fell completely for this smile in that very moment, and
started flirting with her making a huge effort to impress
her. Apparently, she found him very amusing and they got off
on a good note. From start, John sensed that something was
not as usual. Leaving her on the street corner didn't arouse
any feeling inside. He tried to recall whether the absence
of emotion had occurred before, and he came up with only one
case, when the person he was saying goodbye to had been so
dull, that even going away from him left John indifferent,
That was not the case with Janet. She was charming and
funny. Spending time with her gave him a great deal of
pleasure. By definition, this should have led to some sorrow
on John's part. It was a simple equation.

They got together a couple more times, once for the movies,
and another time for dinner. After a few weeks in which they
met almost every day, drawing closer with each day that went
by, they finally slept together, bursting up after a long
anticipation. In the morning, when he kissed her goodbye,
John took a moment and concentrated on the emotions inside
him. Nevertheless, nothing was there. A weird thought had
emerged in his mind: "Maybe he was falling in love?" Perhaps
the fact that he did not feel a thing meant, in a very
strange way, that he should not part from this woman. Janet
stared back at him, a bit confused by his silence. Then, in
a tender voice, asked him to stay. Since leaving her wasn't
about to give him much pleasure, John decided to stay with
her. Besides, it was the weekend, and he didn't have any
traveling plans. The next couple of days were consisted of
long conversations and amazing sex. They grew closer,
learning about each other from scrap. By the time the
weekend was over, all their senses were involved in the new
romantic adventure. He had smelled her hair, while she
tasted his skin. He could see the world through her eyes,
and she was able to identify each curve in his body by a
mere touch. Monday morning, when it was time to go back to
work, John left the apartment while Janet was still asleep.
Right there, on that moment, he felt the sorrow he was
longing for in the past week; the very sadness that had
defined his way of living. The confusion wasn't late to
come. He was in love with Janet, and being with her meant
almost everything to him. John wasn't sure that he would be
able to send her away. As a matter of fact, he could hardly
imagine how he was going to pass the rest of the day without
her presence. On the other hand, there was no mistake as for
the strength of the feeling that he had felt when he left
her bed that morning, and a final breakup might lead him to
a new climax of emotions. After tormenting himself
throughout the day, John made up his mind to become a
changed man. He should get treatment for his disorder,
perhaps it would teach him to be a happier person among
people, rather than being happy only from going away. John
set up an appointment for that afternoon, and tried to go
about at his work as a ground attendant at the airport,
where his job was actually to greet people farewell while
they were leaving the city for remote destinations. In the
evening they met again, but John told her none of the events
of the passing day. Since she had really missed him, all
that mattered to Janet, after a hard day at work, was that
they were together. They didn't waste much time on chitchat,
and went straight to fluid exchanging on her kitchen
counter. While he was caressing her breasts she heard him
whisper that he doesn't want to leave. Although it did sound
very strange, she decided to inquire later on, and gave in
to the excitement of making love to him. John, on the other
hand, was trying real hard to concentrate, but the words of
the therapist kept pounding in his head: "You need some
serious help." he told him, and then explained that it
should include at least a week in one of those "private
institutes". John had made up his mind to go as far as
necessary in order to prevent himself from being tempted to
find out how intense saying a final goodbye to Janet might
be.

The next day he took a leave from work, and told Janet the
he had to go for a short while, "to work at a different
airport." John could hardly stand through the burst of
emotions he felt, right there on the spot, when he had to
leave. He barely managed to hold his tears. The sensation
was so strong that he had almost fainted. The institute was
all he had expected it to be - large white rooms full of
smiling doctors and wide windows that were facing the green
lawn. He had to sign a waiver entitling his doctors to do
whatever necessary without being accounted for the outcome.
The next couple of weeks were consisted of one big blur of
therapy sessions with psychiatrists, numerous group
meetings, a vast variety of drugs that he had to swallow and
aches in his arms from all the shots he was forced to take.
After a while, he even got used to the place, making himself
some new friends among the patients and stuff. It took a bit
longer than the therapist had promised, but finally the
doctors came up to him and announced that they had found the
behavior disorder that he had, and now he could be normal.
He was a changed man (with some help from his new
medications), and he could hardly wait to meet Janet again.

The treatment seemed to be working when he said goodbye to
all the habitants of the institute - doctors, nurses,
patients and even the cleaning personal without feeling the
slightest tingle. John came back to Janet all smiling with
joy, and they spent another magnificent night together. It
was a dream comes true, until things took a sharp turn. The
next day, Janet came back from work straight to John's
place, and sat him down fir "A talk". Her boss wanted to
promote her to a very demanding job - she would be working
as a P.R manager for a big "Love Boat" style cruise ship. It
just what she had desired for her career right now, so she
couldn't refuse. They had to break up according to this new
decision, and as a matter of fact, she preferred to end it
right there, in his place, rather than to make a big fuss
about it at the port. John asked for more explanations, and
even tried to argue with her reason, stating all the great
time they had together. "At least let me escort you to the
pier." he said with defeat once he had realized that none of
his attempts had succeeded. After many persuasions and a lot
of tears by his side, she was finally convinced.

When the day arrived, they were waling along the dock
silently. Janet had tears in her eyes, but couldn't say a
word. John was silent as well, drifting away into his
thoughts. In a final, desperate attempt, he tried to
convince her to stay with him, but there was no use. She had
to take that promotion and follow her dream. The speakers
were calling her to board the ship, and they kissed goodbye
- a long passionate kiss, his tongue tied with hers,
refusing to let go. After a few moments he saw her
disappearing among the waiting crowd, making her way to the
stuff's entrance, where she would begin her training in a
few hours. A tear began to make its way along his cheeks. Up
there on the boat she was waiving goodbye. He looked away.
The tear had nearly dried out when the smile had spread upon
his face. He didn't take his medications, and without them,
the feelings were back, greater than ever. He had to lie
down, right there on the wooden dock, spreading his arms and
legs, while the world was fading out. After a while, he got
up and started to head back along the pier, fantasizing on
how his next farewell would be.