•I seriously begin to question god's decision
appointing humans as the masters of this little blue planet.
Chickens should have inherited the earth

•I have yet to hear of or see a racist zombie. Brains
taste the same, no matter what color is the skin of the
person that caring it around for now.

•The more time I spend around other people, the more I
start to believe that cannibalism is a good way to end world
hunger AND get rid of the assholes that populate it. Your
neighbor is a dick? Don't get mad, GET HUNGRY. Nothing a
little sauce and a side dish won't solve...

•If a politician wants to get MY vote it's going to
take allot more than grand promises and fancy slogans to
persuade me. I'm not partial to money though...

•Playing DND doesn't make you weird. Playing DND alone
does...

•How can some people manage to be ''cool'' and ''super
hot'' at the same time? Physically speaking, shouldn't those
two things cancel each other out?

•No one really knows what it takes to be a real man
but fathers all around the world will still try making one
from their innocent little son.

•I like clocks. They never tell me I'm wrong, just
late...

•I think that the problem with all the monotheistic
religions is that their gods are required to be all powerful
and all doing. This multitasking must be very tiring and
must be creating an enormous jam in the work flow,
especially considering the fact that it's mostly the same
god in all those religions. What happened to the good old
one task gods? Where's the god of fire or the goddess of
crops or whatever to ease up the work load?

•True fact: As a soldier, there is nothing more
disillusioning then finding out that the toughest guy in
your platoon is afraid of needles.

•The phrase ''Who died and made you god?'' doesn't
really apply to Jesus...

•Nothing tastes better then the ice cream you bought
with your very last money.

•Women; the best thing that happened to men since
nature invented the penis.