I wonder if they celebrate your birthday
I hope they do, and I hope you're having fun and see us from
there
You know, I miss you a lot, and sometimes I really need you
to be here and tell me what to do, how to do, what to say,
what to think, what not to say, or just saying that
everything going to be alright... I'm trying to imagine what
you would say to me if you were here, but it's hard. It is
so hard. You were amazing, every person that I speak with
about you say that and not only because you're gone now. I
wish to be like you, smart, intelligent, pretty, just like
you.
I hope you're proud of me. I'm really trying to do my best,
even when I know I'm doing something wrong... I start to
acknowledge my weaknesses. That's a start. It's not bad
anyway...
I don't know why it's so hard to me to let my feelings out
there, I just need you to say that it's ok, I don't need to
worry, you're taking care of it, I won't be hurt again...
Why does everybody saw sign from you and I didn't? Maybe I
didn't look good enough? I need a sign... Even the smallest
one, just to know you're here and you're hearing me and
helping me...
I'm sorry, it's your birthday. You should party and not
think about my stupid thoughts... there are more important
things in life, I know. It's not the worst, I know. But it's
driving me crazy... and I hope it will stop. But stop in a
good way. I don't want to be hurt again...
Oops, again me. I'm sorry, it's hard.
So, how is there? It's been a long time since I wrote to
you. I hope you're happy there, and help everyone here.
What else can I say or write. I just miss you a lot. That's
the basic...

So happy birthday mom, you know I love you very much and
miss you like hell. Just be strong for us there and be happy
for yourself.