dedicated to a dear friend i probably lost due to my
foolishness

Hello there, what are you up to
Did I see you cry
Can I hear you smile
It took me some time before I could get here
Life was passing by
But I've planned this for a while

How I kneel before you kissing your cold hands
How I beg forgiveness and try to make amends
How you sigh with surprise, I look in your eyes
You're breaking free from indifference
How you shout at me, accuse me in betrayal
How grasp me hard, it turns into a hug
Then you cry your soul out, cuddle next to my heart
Whispering my name, demanding me to stay
Our sights fade to darkness, nothing's there around us
Only you and me, and the pain between

While you drip a tear I bleed for you
And awkwardly say "You knew
That I will come, once I'm done
With playing the fool around"

But all you say is
"Hello there, what are you up to
Did you keep it safe
Have you been OK
Things have been the same, thank you for asking
No I haven't left
I have debts to pay"

Then you smile politely, distant as you stand
Never letting me see, what is left unmend
What hell you have been through, what I got you into
Did you want me back or did you want me dead
Did you miss my love, did you let it go
Did you curse my name, did you put the blame
Did you sleep that night I came to say goodbye
I thought I saw your tears, but maybe it was me
Will you ever ask why the fuck did I
Leave you all alone? And why do I return?

If you drip a tear I might believe
That there is something I could yet fix
Of what I've done while I was gone
Playing the fool around

I know that you know that I know
That you don't really find the words
When it comes to that painful point
Where I'm to see and you're to show
But all these lists I should have read
And all these words I could have said
That haunt me every passing breath
If only I have

Said then
"Hello there, what are you up to
Will you let me stay
Will you make me pay
I missed you like hell, well I always loved you
I should tell you now
What it's all about"