I have decided to be silent no more. That is why I bought a
loud typewriter.

I sat down to write the next great American novel, but then
I realized I was Polish

I sat down to write a Russian masterpiece, but then I
realized I wasn't suicidal

I bought a typewriter because I am a romantic. It's a pity
however that I need to use the computer spell check in every
sentence I write.

I want to write as well as Kafka. I just don't want to turn
into a bug.

I want to be influential as Marx. The only problem is I
can't grow a beard.

I write to reach catharsis...at least that's what my analyst
says.

I love bob Dylan, I just can't stand his voice.

I would have wanted to be born black. I just wouldn't want
to go through the hardships.

I would like to be a freedom fighter. I just don't want to
get killed.

I want to be a trend setter. I just don't want to be an
outsider.

I advocate the redistribution of wealth. The only condition
is that it will start with me.

I want to direct a movie. The only problem is I don't like
giving out orders.

I love foreign movies. The only thing I don't have patience
is reading the subtitles.

I would like to be a stand up comedian. The only problem is
I'm not funny.

I would like to teach a in the university. I just don't want
to study ten years before I start.

I write to attract women. Well, that's it. That's the whole
point.

I sat down to write the next great novel but then I realized
I don't have anything to write about.