| Standing on the ship, at it's edge. Looking at the waterthat moves on along, Excited by the passage of the ship
 through the sea. It only touched us for a short while,
 forced to take part in the storm which takes place at only
 fraction of the sea. Rushing, losing all order and hierarchy
 and as it escapes, it unwillingly take a part in the newly
 formed scar on the surface of the sea.
 It seems unfair to me, these drops of water struggled to
 reach the surface of the sea, expecting to be the guardians
 of this unity of matter and as they reached their goal,
 overwhelmed by the infinity of the universe beyond their
 world, they had no chance to admire it. They got torn into
 pieces and left wounded on the surface of the sea they
 wanted to protect, but not as part of it, but as a layer of
 alien matter.
 The sea seems to be unwilling to accept these wounded drops,
 those who replace the fallen ones fight hard to keep the
 unity pure, and refuse to let the victims back into the sea
 - to be plunged into the bottom where they shall rest in
 peace.
 
 I move back into the benches spread around the surface of
 the ship. I can only see the calm sea surrounding me from
 all directions, the scar is also visible but it is no longer
 seems to be related to our movement, although I know better
 I find it comforting to view it as a natural part of the
 sea.
 It is never easy to feel ashamed, especially when the other
 side is kind and providing. The sea surrounds us yet allows
 us to move through us with confidence - It is calm, it
 enables our journey and it does not get mad at what we do to
 it. It might even not have the same concept of good and
 wrong that I do, But I can't stop using my own morals to
 feel that we do it wrong, and as it does not retaliate and
 avenge I feel that I am to speak in it's name with the
 language of shame.
 
 I feel better for moving away from the edge - the bloody
 scene was uneasy but manageable yet my desire to join was
 not. As I saw the wounded sea gushing out of the back of the
 ship and it's sides, I felt an uncontrolled desire to join
 it, depart myself from the ship who injures and fights and
 form an alliance with the victim in need.
 The sea does not alienate me for looking away, I feel that
 it desire to be united with me.
 As I sit, I feel the sea moving me to places I did not
 expect to be in. These places are often places I do not want
 to be in, yet the sea asks not for my opinion and there is
 no struggle between us. It opens a path for me and I follow,
 there I have to decide if I want to stay or not.
 
 The sea seems to be knowing and experiencing much more than
 I do, it seems willing to share it with me and it asks
 nothing for return. I find it uneasy to consider this giving
 while I find it hard to deal with the shakings.
 It does not stop and refuses to repeat itself - I find it
 hard to handle as I keep encountering new paths I did not
 have before. The sea demands me to handle the notion of
 movement in general, but still handle each motion on it's
 own.
 I wonder how much of the sea participates in my movements,
 how deep does the interest goes, and wide it spreads. Is the
 bottom also participates in these movements.
 
 Land is coming, I know that on the land the sea has no
 effect. I should take what it gave me through out this
 journey and remember it.
 As the land grows bigger and bigger and the sea seems to be
 ending I turn away to the big unity which hosted me, I say
 farewell, look down at the floor, hold my stomach with my
 hand and silently say thanking words.
 |