Anakh- last chapter
''Twelve years since I have left them and they are still
knocking on my door'' Ruann snapped while reaching to the
door knob.
''How may I help you?'' He asked.
''I am looking for answers. ''
''Aah''- Ruann nodded and gave a long stare at the young
novice who was standing at his door step. The reciprocal
sincere stare of the young man moved something inside him,
hence against his better judgment he let the young man in.
''So you are looking for answers''-Ruann tried to sound
earnest- ''and to what question, if I may ask...''
The young man remained silent.
''Aah'', Ruann continued after a short pause. ''Do you
really think that the answer is more important than the
question? Apparently you do, since you have failed to reply
earlier. What if I told you the answer is blue. Would it
make sense to you? Would you even know if I am talking
about a color? ''Ruann ignored the shrug of the young man
and continued. '' Now if I told you that the question is
what color is the sky, surely it will make sense to you and
you probably believe it to be true since you know it from
your own experience. Of course, the sky is not always blue,
it is black and red and grey depending on the time of the
day and the season, however this is not the point. The
precision of the question as well as the answer would help
to determine whether it is true or false, but the answer by
itself has no meaning and holds no information. Therefore
one should not be afraid to spend some time of defining well
the question before one looks for answers.
Ruann looked at the young novice calm face, searching for a
shred of insight. Having failed to find it he continued.
''So let's try again, what is it that you seek?''
-''The truth'' answered the young man without hesitating.
-''The truth is not something you seek it is something you
live in. The more truthful you are to yourself and to your
surrounding the closer you get to the truth until it becomes
an integral part of you. So tell me again what have you
hoped to hear from me? What is the question?
-The meaning of life...? The man uttered with confusion.
-Life has no meaning nor has it any purpose. The only
purpose of life is living. The only meaning of life is life
itself. In fact any philosophical basic element has no
meaning but its own.
So maybe the question is what are the basic elements of our
existence? And yet even a higher quest would be how do we
keep our balance within these elements? If you want you can
call it how do we find harmony?
Ruann paused for a second pondering whether or not to
continue. He walked away toward the porch and pull a
cigarette out of the pack in his hand. The young novice sat
silently waiting with eager eyes and full of reverence
followed Ruann with his look. Having noticed that, Ruann
decided to keep on talking.
-Before I tell you that, could you please tell me what in
you opinion balances the good?
- That would be evil, right? The young man was no longer
sure of himself.
-I believe that is not the correct answer. Well of course
evil is the opposite of good but although this can lead to
some sort of balance I do not believe it helps harmony.
Perhaps this is a difficult one, so let me ask you this.
Have you ever been in love?
-Yes.
-And what happened?
-Well we broke up when I decided to join the order.
-Ahhah, and what did you do to overcome the longing feeling
and sorrow you must had then?
- I turned it into hatred. The young man answered
shamefully.
-Surely that didn't help, for instead of having a strong
emotional feeling of love you have exchanged it with an
equal amount of hatred. Do you feel you are balanced in that
area?
-I guess I am not- the young man shrugged with some
despair.
-Indeed you are not. For the element that balances love is
actually logic. Love and logic can co-exist inside you
balancing your behavior but not annihilating each other. Too
much love would lead to madness and too much logic would
lead to a cold heartless behavior. An equal amount of both
will keep you balanced and living in both worlds. Does it
make sense to you?
-Yes.
-I believe so, in fact many of us had such an experience in
their past. So let's go back to the previous question. What
would balance the good?
As all Ruaan could see was a bewildered face in front of
him, he sighed deeply. ''Perhaps it was a mistake letting
him in, after all'' Nevertheless he continued.
-What is the danger of being too good. At first glance you'd
probably say nothing, yet if you think a little you'd
understand that if you are too good and naturally follow the
will of others, because being good is mostly about giving
and doing what other people ask you to, you'll very quickly
loose your own freedom and will. Thus freedom or free will
limits good. But how does good limit freedom? that is
crystal clear once you decide that you are free to do
whatever you want as long as you don't hurt others. Of
course this raises the question but when are you really
hurting other, should you stop doing what you are doing just
because someone says he doesn't like it. Well this is a very
valid question but it is more judicial than philosophical,
so I will not address it at the moment. Again those two
co-exist without annihilating each other. I have found two
more which are justice and the truth. But I will leave it to
you to find out how they keep the balance by limiting each
other.
Ruann went outside looking at the sky and smoked another
cigarette. After a few minutes the young novice pulled
himself out of the couch and joined him on the porch. For a
few moments they both just stood there looking at the
scenery.
-There are at least five more elements, somewhat more
earthly though. In my opinion they are life, health, joy,
wisdom and sex. Yes, you heard me.- He continued while
noticing the puzzled look on the young's man face.- Sex is
an important element in life. To my shame, I have to admit
that I have much work to do with balancing my earthly
elements, but then again, nobody is perfect, Right?
-I guess...'' the man answered with an embarrassed grin.
-This is the answer. Nature encapsulates both art and
science. The balance between the positive elements can lead
to life of harmony. No negative elements are required. So go
out, find someone whether it is a woman or a man and live
your life aspiring for the harmony and the rest is bound to
follow.
Ruann indicated that the time was up and showed him the way
to door. ''Some will pull themselves out, others will always
choose to stay stuck in their rut. I wonder which one of
them is this guy'' he thought to himself while locking the
door behind the young man.
The End.
Anakh -Epilog
Ruann looked at the eager man's face, contemplating whether
or not to answer the abysmal question he has just posed.
Sighing he walked toward the window and gave a long stare at
the white clouds that were floating in the sky. Slowly he
turned toward the man that remained sitting on the couch,
full of anticipation, as if he was going to be granted the
promise of eternal life. Ruann tried to conceal the contempt
that started rising inside him and said quietly:
''There is no key. Actually there was never a key. I don't
have the key since it does not exist. It never did. However
looking at you I am sure you will not be satisfied with such
an answer. You are so blinded by your own convictions that
you will settle for no less than what you regard to be the
truth. In fact I am most certain you will leave here feeling
that I haven't told you the truth whatever my answer might
be. Nevertheless I will try to humor you. If you twist my
arm and force me to admit of the existence of such a key I
will have to say that the key is Physics. Yes you heard me
correctly. Physics, no more and no less is the key to nature
and to life which is of course an integral part of nature.
But know this. Everyone can learn how to paint, but only
Picasso can be Picasso. You have a good life. You have a
wife, you have kids, you have friends and you have a steady
job. You practically have everything a man needs in his life
on this earth. So why risk all that. Why waste your time
pondering on questions that have no answers, and try to
acquire skills which you have absolutely no talent for. Live
your life. Enjoy it. This is the only true wisdom I can
dispense to you. Please believe me, there is nothing more
precious than living your life to the fullest.
As for myself, I have chosen life, therefore I am going to
live with Peter who is the only true friend I have on this
earth, I truly suggest you do the same.''
Ruann went toward the door and opened it. As the man
silently passed by him he added: ''I really wish you a very
good and happy life and may we all get to live our lives
peacefully and managed to put this absurd story, full with
lies, treachery, deceits and a never ending persecution
behind us.''
Ruann locked the door again, went out to the porch, admiring
the endless beauty of nature at dusk. He sat down on the
left side of the two seated bench that was there and lit a
cigarette.
