Life sickening thought, waking consciousness, day dream,
float .

   Remarkable things could happen. Expect it? Everyday
happens instead. accept it.
- It's all a matter of state of mind -
Do we want freedom? of course. Price, loneliness. Ever
drifting in and fro, with endless battles
with the shame it causes.
  Emptiness, like any void or vacuum, always tries to draw
in, sucking to fill the space.
Accepting the emptiness would mean forfeiting the acceptance
itself, in order to fill the emptiness. so
what good is that.

   You might read this as a desperate cry for help, you may
feel it as a life story,
you could dream it as a master piece, or simply accept it,
with a head nod and all, and forfeit
understanding the conception.

Who are we, what state of conciseness do we live in? Do we
wake up to a dream (good, or bad per say)
or rather dream of waking up.

  - Dreams: unconscious equivalent to the "awake" state,
neurologically speaking. same sparks of thought through
the brain.

   - Awake: One of many states of consciousness, a
conception of life time and space within  physical
constraints.

 Do we "dream" of dreaming? Long to be awake?
How about the transitions between the states? We yearn for a
slow wake up in the morning, a quite drift into sleep
at night. Even throughout the day, we go in and out of
daydreams as much as our environment allows us.
  SNAP! waking up. SNAP! falling asleep. that instantaneous
moment, that4s what we all really want. In that
precise moment of shift between levels (or platforms, or
parallel universes) of state of mind and consciousness,
that4s where our nirvana lies.
   That moment, or those moments are the only time that
time, space and  even we cease to exist.
(Even in a dream, we have a perception of space and time,
just relative to that state. no one dreams with
out a "time line", backwards for example.) For that moment,
which only seems instantaneous, we are not in
any state of consciousness, meaning we are simply, not.
         - Emptiness -

   accept that emptiness? that means forfeiting the
acceptance in itself. again what good is that.
What happens to us if we stop accepting? Stop expecting to
be accepted, except nothing at all.
There just lies another void.
   Some try to fill all the voids in their life. Stop at
every single one, and move on to the next only when it has
filled up,
how ever long that takes them. Others, simply ignore the
voids of life, skipping over them as pot-holes on a
pavement.
   How about living, not in, but rather living the void.
Dream the void, wake up to it. Not spending time and effort

trying to fill it nor trying to "deal" with it (and end all
physiologists salaries, at that)
immerse yourself in the emptiness, rather than accept it.

     Make it the life sickening thought, the waking
consciousness, the day dream, the float.
         
                               Ohad Ella,
                                             
(Patient # :43825 Phsyc ward 6)