I am sick and tired to play all those games...
Can't you see I am not the same kid I was? I can no longer
be a child, I chose to grow up and I won't be able to
return! My little angel, we played hide and seek for much
too long now... It is even not the fact that I am lost and
couldn't be found as it is the fact that I've lost you! To
say those childish things again like ''I love you'' will be
too harmful for both me and you... My little guardian, you
were there when I needed you the most, but with all the love
I share to you, I cannot promise I will be there for you the
same way!
If I could get back in time and alter all the pain we've
been trough I wouldn't... Because even the scars in wounded
heart won't let me enough reasons to forget all the smiles
we shared.
It is hard to admit it, but this little slip of a tongue
like those stupid words, ''I Love you...'', costs us too
much suffer! I am vulnerable more than you can ever imagine,
I feel sometimes like a guinea pig, running in circles in
the cage this love have built for me.  My darling I am tired
of playing those games, the childish laughs in my head
abandoned me long ago, but I still can't find you, where are
you?! I still see you, I can feel your heart beating, I can
sense your touch on my hands, but baby I am all alone and I
believe too hard now that I've gone crazy... I've lost my
sanity without you!
I am screaming from time to time, to let my voice spread
into the atmosphere, just to let my hopes of you finding me
rise up again...But the more it resurrect itself, the faster
and harder it crashes on the ground again, I don't want to
believe my efforts are in vain but sometimes I just don't
have a choice!
The suffer I've been through since I've closed my eyes,
counted to ten and started to look up after you is
insuperable. But I am not able to let it go, because the
same way it is indispensable!
Mummy I have grown, I developed my own abilities to become
adjusted to this environment. I have learned how to survive
under impossible conditions. I found my strength in the
loneliness and all the power I ever needed inside a simple
pen, but no matter how strong I became, no matter what
distance I've walked and what I have learned through,
without you my baby I am even weaker than that child I was
ages ago. Because the same child had something I think I
will never get...He had you!
I don't want to play no more, come out! Come out wherever
you are! I admit it...I've lost! I don't wish to play no
more baby, I give up, please come out and show
yourself...please I am begging you, I miss you, I am too
weak now to go on. Come out mummy I want to go home...Where
are you?!
I am too afraid all alone, I fear of forgetting you precious
blue eyes, I fear of losing memory of you and me.
Come out I can't even hear you voice no longer, I prefer to
be death.
If I won't be able to see you again I prefer to go blind!
If your gentle hands won't touch mine ever again, I chose to
become numb forever!
I don't need no air to breathe if your smell won't reach my
nose ever again!
If the taste of your lips is lost for me, I prefer never eat
again!
And If those life chose for me that path I prefer to die...
Girl, I am tired of playing games...I never saw it before
but I do realize it now
Without you in my life, even the most Perfect place will
seem to me as hell!
Because there is no heaven for me if I am not able to share
it with you...
I love you, I loved you all along, ever since I've closed my
eyes
Until the moment you've opened them...

I see you now, clearly as the sky, beautiful like a field of
thousands white roses,
shining like the sacred water and perfect like the god
himself!
I see you my darling...
One' two three... you count!