It is so easy to write to you my dear, when you so far away
from my eyes to see your responds. They do stay dry for that
blessing gift... it's funny, that the best things in life is
kind a impossible to describe, to understand, to concur...
not reachable, like we were born to suffer the unknown, the
fear, the craving... to suffer the awareness of our
existence.
I manage to make a really hard decision today, which had
made me proud of myself. I can feel the change in me, and I
can feel you are the one I can share it with, cause you are
so far from my heart, yet so close to my mind, to be able to
tell the difference is hard enough, do think you can tell?
My dearest, my love, my sweet heart, how come we feel so
alive when we stand face with death, and feel so dead when
we keep our routine in the normal expected life? do you
know, a week before I almost met God, I wrote a will. It was
a joke cause I did the bungy jump. For me now it seems like
as if I knew it all the way. deep inside my sub
consciousness , it was so well planned, yet I'm still here
holding my own breath. I'm pondering in faith, destiny and
religion, what if there is a big thing that runs this world?
bigger then "God" bigger than... I feel like the matrix. I
feel like I so understand the freaking mind of thus who
wrote that script. I always say you should be high and crazy
to be so awesome and brilliant. Am I walking this path now?
don't think so yet... but when I do, I'm so sure this will
be the beginning of the end of my script. I'm not special or
unique more than the others, I know that. but why do I keep
thinking that I ?
can't wait another breath to see you my precious. My eyes
are longing for tears, my lips to your warm kiss and my body
to you hugging me.
I need you.
you are my fuel.
you are my cure.
I love you.