ONE

"Don't follow the herd."
My mentor told me that, along with a few other things.  I
remember the moment.  He was sitting on a small wooden chair
in our room in the army, right next to my bed.  I was
sitting on my bed, leaning back against the wall.  He came
closer, and motioned me to do as well.  We were breathing in
each other's face as he stared intensely into my eyes and
whispered, "Don't follow the herd."
He toppled over right after he said that, and burst out into
his contagious laughter.  We laughed for so long, that I
didn't even get to think about his message.

TWO

I was a quiet kid.  I sat in the playground on a bench
watching the other kids play soccer.  Whenever there weren't
enough people I joined in.  I was OK, but I wasn't really
noticed.  Didn't try to stand out, you know?
I had a couple of friends.  With them I was completely
different.  I felt free to act however I wanted with them.
But with others I didn't.  I felt different.  I needed a
mentor.
I never understood who were the ones that were capable of
learning life's lessons on their own, and who were the ones
who needed guides.  How did they know how to act with
people, what to say to a girl, how to take the punches?  I
mean, everybody told me I was a smart kid.  I got high
grades, excellent SAT score, hell, I even jumped a year in
math.  What the fuck was wrong with the Board of Education's
grading system that I was considered pretty close to a
genius and Daniel was considered an average nobody?  I mean,
he was just considered another sheep in the herd, but nobody
noticed that he was going in the opposite direction.

I met him in training camp.  Actually I only met him when on
a 60 km excursion we both helped a guy that was crying from
weakness for the last 10 km.  He knew just what to say, and
I was just glad that I could help a little and hold my own.
After that we stayed pretty close together.  

At nights sometimes I would fall asleep thinking how he
could have helped my childhood had I met him sooner.  

THREE

It was a Thursday night.  All four of us were in the room
sitting on our beds, the moonlight shining in through the
window.  We didn't feel like going to sleep.
" I didn't have a girlfriend 'til 12th grade."  Daniel said
that.  Daniel!
"What??" I was shocked, "You?"
He lifted his eyes and looked at me.  I could see his eyes
sparkle in the moonlight.
"Why does that surprise you?"
"I- I just didn't, didn't expec..." I stammered.  
He let me off the hook.  "You think I was always this cool,"
he joked.  "I was a pretty quiet kid.  I never had many
friends.  I only took myself into my hands in the eleventh
grade.  It wasn't easy for me either."
Before that really sunk in, Yossi began filling us in on all
we missed over the years.  The different types, different
positions and different situations.

FOUR

"Mom, dad, I'm moving out."
"What?  Are you crazy?  Where do you have the money?" My mom
went into a fit of hysteria.  
My dad, gave her a look and turned his gaze back to me.
"Son, I've been wanting to talk to you.  I guess now is as
good a time as any."
I let him continue, I knew I had to get it out of the way.
"What's happened to you?  You've got to get a grip of
yourself and think about your future.  You were such a
promising boy, such good grades, and now you're two years
released, you hop from one odd job to another and you still
haven't decided what you're going to learn."
"Actually, I have." I had that surprise up my sleeve.  But I
knew they weren't going to like it.
"You do?" They're faces shone like the sun on a spring day.
I let winter sink in. "History and Philosophy." I answered
brightly.
My dad calmed my mom down and turned on me.  "What the hell
are you going to do with that?  Grow up already and snap out
of your dreams.  You're not a boy anymore, God damn it.
Tell me, tell me, how that's going to help you in life?" He
screamed.
"I- I just don't want to be like the rest of my generation."
I seemed to always stutter in difficult situations.  I
wished Daniel was with me.  
It continued like that for a while, but of-course, they
couldn't stop me.  Sometime, I don't remember how, I managed
to sneak out of there.


FIVE

"You're a cutey.  Always with the money on time.  Such a
good boy," my 67-year old landlady said to me.  "I wish I
had a grandchild like you.  But my only son decided he never
wants to get married!  Doesn't want children.  Like a stray
lamb he his.  And we're no longer sheepherders.  You know
what he's doing now?  He comes begging at least once a year
for money, that shmuk.  You know, I think I just might adopt
you as my grandson.  I'll bring you some cookies every time
I come.  Yeah, I think I'll do that."
I just smiled and said I'ld like that.


SIX

He handed me back my articles from the local paper.  
"Listen kid."  I guess my baby face allowed everybody to
feel as if they were talking to a kid.  Although it had it's
advantages, it was pretty annoying.  "I know how much you
care about writing.  Most, not all, but most of the people
here do.  It's just not what were looking for.  Don't take
it hard."
I left the office in a kind of haze.  Only after I stepped
on the escalator did I notice it was going up.  I don't know
why, I decided I had to go down right there.  I took leaps
and bounds and fought my way down.  I reached the bottom, a
feeling of victory rising in my bosom.  And then the thought
hit me- what was I trying to prove?  


SEVEN

"I'll pay the bill 'til the end of the month, I promise.
I'm good for it."
"I know, I know, you're a good boy, a cutey.  You got to do
something with yourself," the woman who wanted to be my
grandmother said, "and if I don't have the money 'til the
end of the month, you're out.  You understand?"  She left
the plate of cookies in my hands.


EIGHT


"Don't follow the herd."
That wasn't his main message to the world, though.  Every
opportunity he had, he told me, "Think positive.  You send
vibes out.  Good vibes attract good vibes."  He proved once
and again that good thoughts brought good luck.  Once he had
to stay after the bus that took us home left to finish
something, and everybody told him that it was too dangerous
to take hitchhikes at night, he lived too far away, he
should wait 'til the next day.  But singing happy tunes he
went out to with the third star and the first car that
passed took him straight home.  Whoever served far from home
knows what the chances of that happening are.  Another time
it was raining mad and we got a call to get back to the
base.  Everybody took it hard of-course; he didn't.  Believe
it or not, I'm not forcing you to, he had sex with the 26
year-old newlywed before he got out of the car.  I guess in
the army luck is only associated with going home and getting
laid, so that proved to us that his theory worked.

He died in a car accident one day when he was hitchhiking
back home.  Makes you think- what if he was wrong?