Always the same role
Of the one with no direction and no control;
Always at the same spot
With no way forward and no way back.

Now the shell cracks
And I don't know what will come out;
Will it be the real man inside me,
or just my guts?

I'm used to being answered no-
Before the question's asked
Used to stinging insults
Without anyone opening their mouth.

As the real fear assures control
Rape me into the same role
With a clear destination- hopeless desolation
I feel at home-
With no power or control.