"Hey Gill! Could you help me with this box" Said Rami from
behind a large crate.
"Rami?!" said Gill
"Yessss..." He said while trying to maintain a reasonable
muscle tonus
"I didn't know you had a dog."
"Gill... Box... Heavy..." Rami began to tremble under the
weight of the box. Seeing Rami lifting heavy loads is
comparable to building bridges using Jell-O foundations,
dangerous and causes a lot of mess
"Look at this cute dog" Gill ignored Rami using the
mechanism in his brain that filters any thing that involves
actual work.
"Losing... Power... Going to... Crash..."
"Since when ramble crash do you have a dog?"
"I didn't" said Rami as he cleaned the dust from his clothes
after he crawled from the wreckages of the box.
"It came with the story" He said eventually as if reading
Gill's thoughts.
"Don't you mean with the house?"
"No I mean with the story. This dog and weird new house are
clearly some way for an uncreative writer to create stupid
yet amusing situations"
The skies darkened and a thunder rolled across the black
clouds. This, much like every other thunder storm on a clear
summer day, comes to show that someone very "influential" is
angry.
"Erm..." Rami gave his theory a second thought "On second
thought he came with the house" the sky cleared again.
"I think I'll call him Lasy"
"MY NAME IS DORTMUND. I AM THE REINCARNATION OF THE TERRIBLE
DEMON BRZABLOXIPLZLXT WHO ONCE TERRORIZED THIS LAND" Said
the dog in a threatening voice.
"Lasy it is" agreed Gill
"STILL THY THOUNGE PUNY MORTAL, OR YOU SHALL TASTE MY
WRATH"
"Oh look at the cute furry tail" Gill couldn't help himself
but admiring the wiggling tail.
"I SALL CONSUME THY SOUL"
"I think he is hungry." said Rami "I'll check if there's
something in the fridge"
Rami walked to the kitchen. He reached his hand to open the
door of the fridge. As he stepped closer he felt that he
stepped on something. clank clink Some wiry springs
sprang into action. The primal instinct in Rami's brain made
a quick consultation with the part of the brain which spent
hours of watching low budget action films and they come to
the following conclusions: a) must stop watching low budget
action movies.
b) That blue color is a bit exaggerated for the living room.
c) I better not move if I value the usage of my legs.
"Do not move" a voice came from the depth of the fridge
"I wasn't planning to" said Rami
"You are in a classified area; I'll have to detain you until
further notice"
"Look, first, this is my house not some classified area.
Second, you are a fridge and thus cannot order me around"
"Who told you that?!" the voice snapped at Rami
"I had a few clues... The big rectangle like structure, the
hospital-white color that doesn't match anything and the
fact I store food there"
"You cannot trick me using your logical mind-games; I shall
have to check it with my superiors"
After a few moments the danger of being privileged to use
the handicap parking space has passed with the sound of old
springs coming to their resting place. The fridge door
opened and a bright light blinded Rami completely.
"Hello there Rami, I am M and I am the head of an
inter-galactic agency that monitor and maintain the
space-time continuum. These are our main offices. Here we
can monitor any activity in the space-tim..."
"Yes, yes, yes what has all of that got to go with my
fridge?" Rami interrupted M in the middle
"These are our main offices. Here we can moni..." continued
M as if not hearing him.
"Space-time continuum, secret agency, yes I got that but you
are letting all the heat in and my tomatoes will rot
eventually." Said Rami with genuine concern
"I love tomatoes" said Gill from the next room because he
felt he was left out of the story.
"YOU SHALL SUFFER!" Dortmund voice echoed around the house.
"ahh... Rami your dog is on fire."  
"And he is making strange noises." He added with panic in
his voice but still happy because he was back in the story.
"Ok, excuse me... M but I need to save my friend from the
wrath of an ancient demon... again."
"YOU SHALL BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL"
"Lasy cool down, you don't want to send Gill to hell. The
repair costs are just too great."
"IT IS TOO LATE HUMANS, TASTE MY WRATH"
Dortmund came to a boiling point, literally, and a flame
just burst out of him straight towards Gill.
"Gilllllll" screamed Rami
"MWUAAAA" the dog laughed evilly.
The flame surrounded Gill with a glowing aura. After a short
Dramatic pause - the universe always had a sense for drama.
A proof of that is the amount of time u need to wait when
watching an egg boiling - Gill spoke: "It's kinda warm"
"MUWAAA... what?" a weird expression formed on Dortmund
face, the same expression on the face of a baby bird who
tries to fly for the first time and finds out it is easier
said then done.
"I said it is kinda warm, like wind on a warm summer day"
Gill gloated on his developed poetic sense
"Not even a tad painful?" Dortmund tried again
"Nop"
"Not even irritating?"
"I would say it is nice like a warm loving hug" continued
Gill with the inspiration that caught him.
"Damn, guess u lose it with time." Mumbled the dog
"That's what happens when you buy a house built on old
Indian cemeteries. At least it was cheap." Said Rami to the
world in general
"Cheap like a prostitute..." Gill started
"Gill..."
"Yes"
"I'll beat you"