I'm dead again.
Despise myself and wish to cease, it's all regained.
All dark and filled with thoughts of doom ,the twitching
pain,
Worthlessness leaves no room, no desire for any closeness.
Just wish to crumble. Fall to the ground and never get up.
Never to deal. Never to fake. Never to fear. Never to be
paid duefully for my mistakes.
And my mistakes. My mistakes are beyond my will. Impotency
is all I have.
Drained of thought, consciousness and will of any kind.
Can't deal with anything. Work in slow motion. Cannot start
the mind.
How can a person be so drained. Nothing to say. no refined
interest in anything.
Nothing that leads this wretched creature into anything but
it's pillow.
The sacred palace of despair. Wish to cease. To know
nothing. To deceive no one.
To ask for the intrusion of no one. To act holy only in a
casket. To be freezed. Drained of life. Not only of spirit.