If not for you, then who's this for? See, I don't see, but
I'll ignore it, wait for it to go away, when sunken sorrow
comes to play and no one seeks 'cause we all hide, and
nothing's wrong with my divide between what's real and what
is not, and I can't stand these eerie thoughts, but I'm
okay, I'm just insane, I'm feeling what I once called pain
and now I see, it's not my own, it's everyone's yet I'm
alone and no one feels and no one cares and no one hears I'm
even there and if they did they wouldn't mind, 'cause most
of them are pretty blind, and they all scream and they all
cry but no one's dreams have pierced his eyes and no one
screams and no one shouts but no one else sees no one's
mouth and no one bleeds and no one dies but no one's there
but his cold eyes, and most of them just lay there still
while no one's on his way downhill, too up his ass to even
care who's really here or what is there and no one's sorry,
no one cries inside while he still runs and hides, and no
one seeks, and no one hides, with everyone, within his
mind.
So what if you don't wanna seek, so what if it's becoming
bleak, so what if hope is just a dream of little empty
headed teens who want to love and not to care, who've done
that, found out nothing's there but dark illusions veiled by
flares of torching light and scarring glares of happiness
all fucking scared; who saw the look, the out-of-shape, one
moment shining, next one raped, the reaper bids to say
goodbye and no one else is asking why, and no one else won't
say farewell 'cause no one else was raised in hell and no
one else is out at length so no one else provides me
strength, but weakness always gets its will, so I'm supposed
to lay there still, and so I do as I am told... 'cause I
don't care... it's getting cold.

I'm still just human, maybe not, and maybe now my string of
thought has let you see just where I stand, in my own world
there is no plan, there is no purpose, there's no goal,
there's only lies and blistered cold, and somewhere there's
unspoken truth, all bound within my broken youth, my seldom
smilish living dead that calls me as I reach my bed.

Something I wrote a long time ago, reminding me how much
I've changed through this period. always loved it. hope
you'd love it too