John sat quietly by the bar. he was broke, alone and drunk
not a good combination on this specific night, it wasn't the
fact that it was Tuesday that is significant but the fact
that it was his 40th birthday.
Up until a month ago things finally seemed to be going for
John.
He was about to be made a senior partner at his law firm and
he just returned from a week's vacation with his wife,
But as always when it seems that life's going to smile upon
you it slaps you in the face, John lost a major contract and
was fired from the firm and a couple of weeks later his wife
left him saying she can't take it anymore and to be honest
he wasn't too sure he would have been able to take it
either, his job was his life and when he lost it everything
else seem to lose its allure on him.
So there he was sitting by the bar on his 40th birthday.
He got out of the bar took a long hard look at his car but
eventually decided to walk
He wasn't concerned about driving drunk nor was he concerned
about leaving his car at this bad neighborhood at a bad part
of the city mainly because John wasn't planning on
returning, he was fed up with life with no meaning no
purpose and so he turned toward the old bridge above the
river.
Half an hour later John found himself staring at the foaming
river over 150 feet below he was leaning over the top
thinking of his sorry excuse of a life and just as he was
about to end it he heard foot steps he turned to see a tall
dark man in a long raincoat walking toward him.
"Stop or I will jump" shouted John.
"Have you any idea how ridiculous your threat sounds, you
were going to jump anyway so why stop now" said the
stranger
"I don't quiet follow, aren't you going to stop me?" replied
John
"To be frank I'm not so sure yet, you see John I know you, I
know you more than anyone alive on this planet even better
than you do"
"What do you mean? Who are you?"
"What I mean is that I know about your wife, about your job,
I even know about the time you cheated on your history exam
and to be honest I know more about you and your life than
anyone including you does, that's why I chose you"
"What? How? Who in god's name are you?"
The stranger started laughing took another step forward and
said "funny you should mention god you never were the
religious type but than again so many aren't "
"What are you a demon? An angel?"
"Hmmm, neither and yet both, you see I am time and the
keeper of the after life." and as he said that he took
another step that placed him right beside John.
John was struck back both from what he said and by his face,
there was something familiar yet strange about them. he
couldn't guess the stranger's age, he might have been in his
early 20's as easily as in his late 40's but the thing that
struck him most were his eyes, they were completely white as
if he were blind and something inside told him he was far
from blind.
"Time, what do you mean? What do you want from me?"
"Oh now you are starting to ask the right questions, you see
I have a proposition for you, to start all over, a fresh
start but with a single change, you will hold all your
memories from this life.
Think of the possibilities you could live your life like you
always dreamed of, you could keep your job keep your wife
you could ace that test you failed you could try and talk to
the beautiful blonde who smiled at you on your first day of
college, you could do anything, you could be anyone, and the
best part is that you could do it all over again as many
times as you would like with the knowledge of this life."
"So where is the catch? What's in it for you?"
"I will get you. The moment you would lose your desire to
live your life you will be mine, trapped in time"
"So what you are saying is that as long as I will want to, I
could relive my life, keeping my memories until the time
that I would lose the desire to live?"
"Exactly." and as he said that, he reached his open arm for
John to hold it and by doing so to seal their deal.
John stared at this stranger's eyes and took his hand.
"So what now?"  John asked
"Just do what you came here to do."
And with that said John jumped off the bridge and fell, not
seeing the smile upon the stranger face as he walked away.

You might think that John would be happy from this point on
reliving his life using his memories to guide him, well in a
way he might have been happy its just that every time he had
the opportunity to take a different turn he chose to remain
on the road he once took.
John pondered it why haven't he changed his life and the
truth was that he wasn't sure, it seemed as if every course
he took was the right one to take.
It was difficult for John; he sensed that maybe his life was
meant to be miserable, full of pain and disappointment. He
kept on saying that starting from tomorrow he would make a
change and at the end of each day he found himself just as
he once remembered.
And so the days went on and on and just as he remembered
John found himself back on that bridge on his 40th birthday
staring at the current flowing 150 feet below him.
"Back again old friend" he heard a voice behind him
"Time, is that you?" asked John
"Who else might it be? " the stranger said with a smile
" I don't know, I just thought that this time I would be
happy"
"And you were not happy?"
"You know I wasn't"
"Well if it is so than it is of your own doing." time
replied
" I suppose, why is it than that my life always seems like a
living hell?"
" That is a question worth asking, one whose answer you
already posses."
" I do? But I don't think so, at least I don't think I do."
" It would come to you in time"
John fell silent for a while and than he asked " We had this
talk before, haven't we?"
" Of course, don't you remember?"
" I do, I remember first meeting you 40 years ago." John
said as he looked for an expression of approval but as he
was standing there an understanding struck him.
" But that wasn't 40 years ago was it?"
" Oh, poor John we did meet 40 years ago."
" Yes but that wasn't the first time we met wasn't it?"
" No, it wasn't the first time" time replied
" How many years has it been since we first met?"
" More than you could count old friend." time replied with a
grin.
" But I don't remember any of it, it wasn't part of our
agreement." John said with rage building up inside him.
" Oh but it was John, don't you remember?"
" That I remember, that is the only thing I really do
remember.
You said that I would relive my life while keeping the
memories of my past lives.
That was the deal we had."
" Dear old friend you really don't understand do you? The
deal was that you would posses the memories of your first
life, not all of them"
John was struck back at this; he staggered as he reached out
to grab hold of him
But the stranger simply took a side step and John fell as he
caught nothing but air.
" Why " John whimpered " Why do you torment me like this?"
" That was the deal, but don't worry soon you wont remember
any of this."
" No" John said
" What do you mean No "?
" You don't have me, not yet."
" Oh but I do old friend, you see we had a deal."
" Yes I see it now, we have a deal and I was too stupid not
to see it then. It was when I jumped, wasn't it?  
And as he said that he got up on his feet, took a long look
down.
The sound of the water took hold of him, he felt like he
belong there, but he ignored the allure of the water and
started walking across the bridge.
" I wont lose my desire for life, I will carry on, start
over again." Said John as he walked away.
" Start over with what? You have nothing, no wife, no job,
and no money. What would you do without me?" the stranger
shouted back overcoming the sound of the wind and the
running water.
" Time would tell my old companion, time would tell." Said
John leaving the stranger alone on the bridge.


The End

Inspired by the book "when Nietzsche wept".