Dear Santa,

I have been a very good killer this year. I have been
slashing my mom all year in a dark room, but she said you
would give me a cruel curse if I behaved deadly until
Christmas Eve.

I would also like some new gifts. I accidentally shooted my
old ones. I would also like a new Uzi for my room. I'd ask
Mommy for one, but she said not to dodge her during "The
Young and the Restless."