We were watching a movie together, and I don't even remember
which one, only that it was something light, without
anything that requires much concentration.
I enjoyed watching movies with him, for a change he didn't
criticize them - as my ex did - he simply enjoyed the movie!


We were in a weird situation of friendship, but it worked.
He is the sweetest person I know, someone I could talk to,
who gave me a hug when I felt like the loneliest person in
the world, who knew to keep silent and not to ask

That evening I fought for the-one hundredth-time with the
whole world. I thanked god when his number flashed on my
mobile screen. He understood that something was wrong, and
settled with "I had a fight with my folks... the usual" when
I'm ready I will tell more, he knew that.

A bottle of coke stood on the floor, half full. The pizza
I've brought - pepperoni, tomato and lots of cheese on top -
was already gone, and the carton was lying empty next to the
bottle.

The couch in his room was really comfortable, once we opened
it to a bed, and threw lots of cushions. He was lying leaned
on the cushions, and I leaned on him.
His hand was in my hair, massaging...
"Hmm... that feels good" I murmured
He pulled me closer, my head near his chest, his hands
wrapped around me.
"Want to tell me what's bothering you?" Asked, almost
whispering.
The memories of the day brought tears to my eyes. I cuddled
deep in his embrace
"Everything seems to be going wrong lately, as if on
purpose, everything I try doesn't work. I'm hurting people
without intending. I can't keep my mouth shut" My voice was
shaking, and he tightened his hug.
"You say what you think. That's rare for people these days,
you know" He said.
I knew what he meant. His ex-girlfriend made one hell of a
scene when she broke up with him, taking out everything she
kept inside. And there was plenty.
If I could only get my hands on that bitch... She hurt him.
A lot. I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice when
he mentioned her, in the few rare times that he did.
I lifted my head to look at him. There was pain in his eyes
again.
I hated it.
"I know" I smiled. "You're a good listener" I said, more for
myself then for him. I returned my head to lean on his
chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
The movie was still playing in the background. We weren't
too sorry to miss it, knowing that we could watch it anytime
we want.
"It started when I got back home from school. I was so
tired; it's been a long and hard day... all I wanted was to
rest. And you-know-who came back at five o'clock. He wasn't
happy with me resting. And again with the shouting, and the
endless insults" tears were coming out of my eyes,
unwillingly. My voice was broke.
"I can't go on like this. I can't. He makes me feel the
smallest in the world. The most stupid, ugly, idiotic,
mean...the most...everything" I turned to hug him.

We just lied like this, hugged. I was wrapped in between his
arms, crying out everything I held inside. All the pain.
Eventually I fell asleep, feeling safe, and warm.

I woke up slowly, almost doesn't want to go back to reality,
the remaining of the dream fading away. I couldn't remember
what it was about, but I remembered the sensation of warmth,
of love.
Something new infiltrated, it took me a second or two more
to recognize it - I'm being kissed, gently, a pair of lips
softly waking me up.
A tongue slides in-between those lips, pleading them to
part. Then intruding my mouth.
A deep, sensual sound was heard. Mine.
The kiss had ended as slowly as it had begun.
I didn't want to open my eyes, only when our lips parted
completely, did I dare to look at him.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time now" He whispered.
Even in the dim light that was in the room, I could notice
the sparkle in his eyes.
Reality began to pierce thru the last threads of sleep. He
covered us with a blanket and I was resting cuddled with
him. One of my hands was holding his head close to me, his
bright brown hair filtered between my fingers. Seems like I
lifted my hand while we were kissing.
Silence. Didn't know what to say.
It came upon me like a thunder on a sunny day. He was
attracted to me. Me! The ugly duckling. And it wasn't just
for the words he said, but also for the hardness in his
pants that pressed against my body.
I opened my mouth to say something, but didn't know what.
Confused. Amazingly aroused - and all because of one kiss.
Yes, I have thought of him in that sort of way, but never
dared to cross the line of friendship. Maybe because what we
had as friends, was wonderful and too important for me to do
something to jeopardize it.
Maybe because it was too comfortable for me. I felt so
selfish. His hand left my back, from underneath the shirt.
"Say something" Asked.
The only thing on my mind was "Shut up and kiss me again".
My eyes, as if by their own will, focused on his lips, I
wanted more.
"I'm sorry" I said lifting my glance to his eyes "I'm so
terribly selfish"
"No you're not!"
"But..."
"Shhh!" He hushed me, putting his hand on my lips "You are
not selfish! You are the most giving person I've ever met.
You're beautiful, and you know I mean it, you're gorgeous,
you're sweet, you're amazing, and I..."
My smile was shivering, but it was there, even though the
tears were too.
"YOU are amazing! You can stand me when no one else can...
you have endless patience for me, thank you"
"It's not patience, you brainy!" He was angry
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." I began apologizing, and
moving away. He tightened his arms around me
"No you don't understand! I'm trying to say that I care
about you! A lot!"
The gaze I send towards him was as confused as I my feelings
at that moment.
"What?" I felt like I was missing out something... and a lot
of it
"I care about you... I think... maybe..."
This well spoken person, who could always find the right
words, was stuttering like a little boy now.
"What I'm trying to say is that I'm in love with you!"
I blinked, amazed.
He set up straight.
"I wanted to tell you this sooner... but never found the
right words, and today, when you fell asleep... I just
couldn't stop myself, I looked at you and I just wanted to
kiss you so bad... and then you responded..."
He let words fade. Silence again.
I sat up in front of him
"One hell of a timing we have" I smiled "When... when did
you know?" I asked
We've known each other for three and a half years, been
friends most of the time,
"Not a while ago I understood that I wanted more then just
friendship, but I was afraid to ruin everything. Guess that
just flew out the window"
I looked at him, my heart was beating fast. I reached for
his hand
"We can try" One way or another; things will never be as
they were before, why not try and take it one step further?

As thought reading my mind he asked "There's no way back,
ha?"
"No" I agreed
"Then why won't we continue right from where we stopped a
few moments ago..." He leaned towards me.
My eyes closed, and I gave in to his kiss.