"I can't no more I must kill...must kill...but the
resistance is too high. At night I can't sleep by the
though, it's driving me crazy...
He's dead and I don't know how to resurrect him, to merge
between the two.... the love...the pain...the agony...where
is he now I must know I'll save him...gaaa I can't the music
the pain the visions I can't no!!!!!!!!The Goosebumps I
can't it must be stopped hope is fainting... self confident
is disappearing the music the emotions it's beautiful and
with it, it hurts I must find myself quick I am loosing
myself and the weirdest part that no one foreseen this to
happen.

I woke up by the screaming it was another nightmare I can't
think any more I must survive. I'm awake only because of
them the spirits the voices. I must survive...I must. The
destiny of earth is on me if I'll fail they all going to
die.and me I will be sent back to ka'ar the city of the
damned.

I am a monster ugly revolting you will always be different
from the others
You are a monster...monster...monster.....................
The power... is it worth it?  The look.... the monstrous
look the looks from society not being loved ever never in my
entire human lives.
The pain of one-sided love is hell.
My dreams they're trying to tell me something. The passion
in those dreams is remarkable.

I can't no more I shall die soon my heart is too damaged to
be repaired I want now to sleep to sleep and never wake
up...

The future...I must ...I must save...only one soul...I need
her purity...I must find her before the darkness finds
me...the love...I need the power of it...goose bumps all
over my body her spirit her evil spirit walks among us...in
me.

My thoughts wonder...I think of her...she who can't be
mine...she whom I think all day and night in my conscience
mind and not.

Panther give me strength give the power to go through this I
need it I need to be strong for them and for me.

I am dying I saw this in my dreams...I have cancer...I will
die soon but I must complete my work first...

I can feel them walking among us watching us very very
closely...they are the reason...they are the reason...

God what have I done? I need your voice to encourage me...I
understand now. I took her sadness into me that's why  

Too many thoughts enter my mind without permission they are
driving me crazy I think of her...she who gives me
strength...she does not realize her powers I am forbidden of
telling her. Her hope is fainting or is it mine? I don't
know...I can't think straight...ohhhhhhh.... the
headaches...I need answers...I need solutions...nowhere to
be found.

I am cold. Is it the night or is it me? I don't know.

This is very sad. I saw the future...I saw
death....everywhere...total destruction...the
screaming....it is all lost...and then come the
silence...they are all, all of the human kind is dead I am
alone.

I am changing...my mind is not what it was before...I look
differently at thing...I feel sad, lonely...
Something is missing and I know what it is...I'm searching
for her or them...I don't know...  

Dead that's what I am from the inside. I have no more
hope...death is the only
way...........................................

I am dead.........................

Is there hope in the end of the tunnel?.........I don't
know... but what I do know is that a shred of hope still
live in me give the power to stay alive somehow...

I have goose bumps....my mind is unease....I think of
everything but with it I think of nothing...I want to tell
someone without telling him verbally...I need to find what I
lost which is me... I need help but no one understands the
crying or how to help.

Sometimes I wonder if I am so nice as I say I am...I am
going to sleep now in the hope of finding myself in one of
my dreams....

I have goose bumps again and evil is getting near.....

In the last few days I feel like my powers have no
use....every time I think or say that I have goose
bumps....

I feel sad ...sad from every bad deed that there is in this
unfair world and I am growing angry. Angry because of the
evil men walking among us angry because I know that that in
every each of us there is some of that evilness...

I am angry because of the stupidity of the girls my age and
the trauma they do on the boys and also the other way
around.

Mistakes.....so many mistakes... what am I to do I'm going
crazy...so many I just can't believe it so many of
mistakes....they are after me I tell  you after me

Humiliated...shuttered.....

Anger and sadness they are the power which have an hold on
me nowadays

Oh fair lady of the far...give me strength...give me the
guidance...I need you now more then ever.....i need
salvation...i need council... I need your wisdom your never
ending wisdom!

Idiot that is who I am...no true wisdom....fake...all
fake...I am but a child ....a simple man out of many regular
man.

As I start to remember the dream I had goose bump starts to
creep all over me...this erotic dream was the strongest I
had (to my knowledge).

I start asking myself lately is there any romance left in
this harsh world?
I get paranoid I seek for knowledge I need to find out what
am I why do I believe in romance whereas everybody else has
forgotten so long ago. Where is she the one I am looking for
. she who believes in me who know what I am capable of
giving.
A romantic angel, cupid you might even say. My faith is
starting to betray me again will I ever find the one will I
ever find a one? I am but a confused teenager.....

I feel sad I want love in my life.



At each and every moment that goes by something can go wrong
with my body and another physical problem will rise and I'll
have to go throught another sets of examination more money
will be spended

I got tired of this fucking life. I am becoming more and
more bitter about trivial things.