Prologue

In the beginning there was Illuvatar, which is sometimes
called Eru.
Quite obviously, being all alone in the universe got him
pretty bored. So he created the Valar. Then he created Arda,
which some call Earth, and sent the Valar to it. The Valar
shaped Arda as a nice big plane with many a mountain and
valley, and put all sorts of exciting plants and animals in
it, to prepare it for the even more exciting creatures that
Illuvatar was to bring to Arda. After so and so ages, the
elves arrived at Arda, which made lots of people really
happy and the elves were called to Valinor, which is the
land of the Valar. The decision of whether or not going to
Valinor was perceived as the perfect excuse to divide the
elves to more sects than one can remember, depending on
their location, mood, length of ear, or just whatever went
through the minds of someone who gave them some name or
another. So the elves roamed Arda and all was generally
pleasant for awhile, and then Illuvatar brought the humans
to Arda. Fortunately, nobody in the entire world gave a damn
about those and they went relatively unnoticed for some
ages.
One day some guy by the name of Sauron got bored and decided
to invest his time in the making of jewelry. He made a
couple of really nice rings and gave some to elves, some to
dwarves and some to men. But the rings were so kool that all
those people wanted more rings and lots of fights started,
and eventually a midget with big hairy feet named Frodo took
Sauron's favorite ring and destroyed it, which made Sauron
so depressed that he died, and once again the world became
really boring. Somewhere in the process, the humans angered
Illuvatar, so he killed many of them and reshaped Arda as a
globe rather than a plane, for some reason or another.
Afterwards, it was so boring, in fact, that the elves got
fed up with Middle Earth and sailed away to the west, or
some other direction, back to Valinor, some say.
So, with elves gone and dwarves dwelling peacefully in their
caves and occasionally getting slain by orcs, men ruled most
of Arda. Hobbits were completely disregarded, until they
decided to make a fuss about the whole politically
correctness thing that made them stand out again. Now they
are referred to as "little people", and nobody cares about
them.
Ages went by, people were born and died, as people tend to
do, and slowly history was forgotten. Elves came back at
some point, but people made fun of their long ears so they
left again. Dwarves popped out occasionally with
revolutional ideas regarding technology and how it can be
used. They built pyramid-shaped structures somewhere south
of Middle Earth, and a big circle of stones in the north,
but people argued that piling big stones in different shapes
wasn't really useful, so the dwarves built a big spaceship
and left Arda. Then men became smarter and more curious
about the world around them. Being a bit slow in the head it
took them quite a few millennia to find out that Illuvatar
had reshaped the earth and it was no longer flat, but once
that was proved they coped with it pretty well, with the one
exception that they now felt it unnecessary to stay on it
and they started building things that could take them away
from Arda. Those things very frequently took off only to
crash and kill some people, but eventually someone told
people that other people have flown to the moon and back, so
everyone stopped worrying about that and instead decided to
keep themselves entertained by killing one another. That
worked rather well until the elves returned. We'll get to
that later.
Elves, meanwhile, accomplished much more. That is because
elves, unlike men, are pretty smart, and good at building
all sorts of things without killing each other in the
process. So while men were still fascinated with stones and
how one could make them sharp in order to kill other men,
the elves dealt with metals and other curious substances,
and were interested with many great things such as space
travel, increased brain effectiveness, and frolicking in
cool fountains. For example, the Teleri, known to some as
the sea elves, got together with the Sindar, known to some
as the grey elves, and they build together a fleet of really
nice spaceships, and left Arda in search of warmer climate.
They decided to settle on the sun, and were thus named sun
elves, and have built huge cities that men call "sun spots"
because their eyesight is flawed. After populating the sun
they also built some artificial fountains, and invented ways
to keep those cool enough to frolic in.
So, as a previous paragraph implied, the elves returned to
Middle Earth. Those were the sun elves, who were growing
tired of human foolishness and after careful observation
decided to descend upon Arda and share their advanced
technology with men. They taught men of physics, and of art.
They lectured them on the making of spaceships and of
jewelry and of water coolers. They sang songs to them, and
reminded them of the long forgotten history of the world.
Men laughed at them, and took off in their new spaceships
and went to conquer space.
The dwarves, after flying around the universe and learning
much about the crafts, especially the crafts involving the
hauling of large rocks, came back and settled under the
surface of the moon. They carved themselves gigantic
underground cities, of which the greatest and most
impressive was Eden-Moria, which means New Moria. Despite
the lunar lack of fountains in which to frolic, the
ithil-naugrim, that are the moon dwarves, seemed to be
enjoying themselves. The moon too had its underground ores
to which the dwarves could tend, and they made many new
sorts of metal. Those metals they used to forge all sorts of
interesting things, and they put them in impressively large
piles, which is what dwarves usually do to keep themselves
happy. They also made themselves enormous halls, with wide
pillars, and big gates decorated with gold and silver, and
pretty much exactly what they used to do back on Arda. They
also made some fountains from whence ale flowed like water,
but nobody frolicked in them because the elves rarely ever
came to visit.

So when this story begins, things go something like this:
The sun elves dwell peacefully on the sun. They frolic in
their cool springs as much as possible to forget about the
foolish men who took their knowledge and went off to venture
into deep space and find new things to declare war upon. The
dwarves dwell silently in their lunar cities, and busy
themselves with making things out of metal and piling them
together.


Footnote: elves benefit from having long pointy ears and a
slim and tall figure. This concept is very important for
this story in general and for all of existence in specific.