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F 15.SCW
FADE IN:
INT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT
Eddie (32), Joy (28) David (40) Mary(30) sit
at a
table. They just finished eating and the
dirty plates,
bottle of wine and glasses are still on the
table.
EDDIE
He was there on the 21st, 23rd and
the 24th. Same row same seat. F15.
JOY
You can bet your ass he wasn't
there for you Eddie
EDDIE
What do you mean?
MARY
Joy. Please.
EDDIE
No Mary. I want her to say it.
Loud and clear.In front of David
DAVID
Leave it Eddie. It's between you
both. Settle it at home.
JOY
We never settle anything. Not at
home, not in the theater, not on
the road. Nowhere.
(beat)
As far as Eddie is concerned he
could settle everything in bed.
Between the " honey come over "
and the yawn of the after.
Mary sneezes into her hand.
DAVID
(angry)
Stop that Mary.
MARY
What?
DAVID
That fake sneeze.
MARY
It wasn't fake.
JOY
It was Mary. I know all of your
sneezes.
DAVID
You do?
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2.
JOY
Sure. After all Mary and me shared
a room Once.
EDDIE
And that makes you an expert on
her sneezes?
(laughs)
Why don't you write a new play "
Sneezes with Joy "
DAVID
(to Joy)
We'll put on special show for
people
with cold and we'll print the
tickets on tissues. The play might
cover some of the money we lost on
your present masterpiece
EDDIE
Only this time leave Norma Bennett
out of it.
JOY
You insisted that I put her in.
DAVID
Why take her out? Norma was the
only girl we shared.
EDDIE
That's why.
DAVID
You'll never make it without me
out there Eddie.
MARY
David. Please.
JOY
No.
(to David)
Let the Mr. Almost 1980 Emmy Award
winner talk.
The waiter Clarence( 20 ) comes to the table.
He collects
the plates.
CLARENCE
No kidding. One of you guys won
the Emmy ?
JOY
You came in too late to hear the
almost.
CLARENCE
You are that writer of the play "
Eddie and David on a Mattress "?
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3.
DAVID
You saw it?
WAITER.
No.
(beat)
I wouldn't spend my money on a
play about two fags.
JOY
No fag play. Just two guys who
used to share girlfriends and they
compare notes about their past sex
life.
WAITER
They do?
EDDIE
We do.
(beat)
Me and
Eddie points at David
EDDIE (CONT'D)
David.
WAITER
You the actors?
Waiter extends his right hand. He shakes
Eddie's hand and
then David's.
WAITER (CONT'D)
Never shook hands with real
actors.
DAVID
Don't worry. We're not real. Just
make believe.
Clarence looks at Mary
MARY
Just pretend I'm not here. Never
was.
CLARENCE
I get it. You the funny lady.
Clarence collects the plates and leaves.
MARY
Asshole.
JOY
Young.
DAVID
We'll tip him a free ticket.
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4.
MARY
He didn't do anything wrong.
EDDIE
Why wasn't 15F there on the 22nd?
EDDIE (CONT'D)
Yeah.
MARY
Sick or had a meeting or his wife
had a baby.
DAVID
Eddie said he wasn't married.
JOY
How the hell does he know that?
EDDIE
Married guys have the look that
says someone cares for them.
(beat)
He didn't.
EDDIE
On the 23rd he was tired. I saw
him close his eyes.I thought he
was dead.
JOY
One of my uncles had a heart attack
in the theater.I was eight years
old.
Clarence comes back with menus.
CLARENCE
Eight?
JOY
You're too late again Waiter.
CLARENCE
I know a guy who won eight million
dollars.
DAVID
You're plain lucky.
CLARENCE
He was a client. One of our
regulars.
EDDIE
So he didn't share it with you?
CLARENCE
No. But he said that he would give
me a discount on a coffin.
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5.
MARY
He had an extra one?
CLARENCE
No.Just an undertaker.
MAN (O.S.)
I'm not paying you to talk with
clients Clarence.
CLARENCE
Anyone for dessert?
Clarence hands them the menu. He walks away.
MARY
He looks like a Clarence.
EDDIE
How does a Clarence look like ?
MARY
He has that look.
EDDIE
No wonder this man offered him a
discount on a coffin.
DAVID
Maybe F15 went to a funeral on the
22nd?
JOY
It couldn't have been someone close
because he came back on the 23rd.
MARY
How close?
JOY
Close like mom, dad, sister,
brother.
(beat)
A wife or a son.
DAVID
He wasn't married.
Joy laughs. Eddie turns his head an smells.
EDDIE
I know that smell.
(beat)
They opened the kitchen door and I
swear I could smell the chocolate
mousse.
JOY
Eddie you promised.
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6.
EDDIE
I did? When was that?
JOY
Only this morning before you poured
half a bottle of syrup on top.
EDDIE
It was Sulliman's Syrup.
JOY
So?
EDDIE
It was a very small bottle like
the ones they have in the minibars
in hotels.
DAVID
Sulliman bever did that size. It's
bigger. Much.
MARY
Georgina worked there once.
Sulliman
I mean.
JOY
Not Georgina Halton ?
MARY
You knew her.
EDDIE
Sure she did. Georgina's
cousin,Kevin,lived next door to
Joy.
DAVID
Heard that Kevin got killed.
(whisper)
By the mob.
EDDIE
Why did the mob kill him?
DAVID
Not so loud.
He points
DAVID (CONT'D)
That man. Might be one of them.
EDDIE
Where?
Eddie looks around.
Eddie's P.O.V. of a man ( 40 ) sits alone by
a table. He
drinks tea and eats a cake. Eddie gets up.
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7.
EDDIE (CONT'D)
Will be right back.
Eddie walks away. On the way he passes
Clarence.
CLARENCE
Dessert ?
Eddie does not answer him and walks on.
Clarence comes to
the table. He stands there.
DAVID
You again.
CLARENCE
You want dessert?
JOY
No.
MARY
Speak for yourself Joy.
(to Clarence)
Small cappuccino no sugar.
CLARENCE
We have only medium or large.
MARY
How big is the medium ?
CLARENCE
You know Sulliman's Maple Syrup?
The small one?
DAVID
Yeah.
CLARENCE]
This one is a litle bigger.
JOY
Bring her the medium and an empty
cup. We'll share.
MARY
OK.
(to Clarence)
But Sullimans doesn't do small
bottles.
CLARENCE
(laughs)
Funny lady.
DAVID
I'll have coffee with milk and...
MARY
No and. Just
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8.
Eddie comes back and sits.
EDDIE
You got to hear something.
(he looks at Clarence)
You still here?
CLARENCE
Dessert?
EDDIE
Yeah. Desert us. Leave. Go away
never to come back.
Clarence leaves
MARY
That wasn't nice Eddie.
EDDIE
That man over there.
He points to the man drinking tea.
EDDIE (CONT'D)
I went to pee and on the way...
JOY
They have tolietpaper in there?
EDDIE
How do you expect me to know ? I
just peed in there.
JOY
So?
EDDIE
You know that we men don't go to
pee behind the fucking doors.
MARY
But still.
EDDIE
I might have checked on the toilet
paper if you asked me to.
(beat)
It's over there after the counter.
JOY
Don't need to.
EDDIE
So why the fuck did you ask about
toilet paper?
MARY
Never know. Sometimes they do not
replace it on purpose.In Europe
they charge for it.
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9.
DAVID
You mean they count how many pieces
of toilet paper you use?
(laughs)
Before or after ?
JOY
It's no laughing matter. You men
go in there with newspaper so you
can always use it.
DAVID
Come to think of it women don't
read newspapers. In there I mean.
MARY
It's because we're afraid the
newspaper'll will stink.
JOY
There're some things in newspapers
that stink without ever being in
the toilet.
DAVID
Like that critic. What was his
name?
JOY
Glen Faurrenbow.
(beat)
" I was tempted to go no stage and
sleep on that mattress. This is
where Joy Martin should have put
her play for good."
EDDIE
Maybe this is why F15 closed his
eyes.
DAVID
Sounds like a plane.
EDDIE
No. The plane's F16.
(beat)
The man who didn't show up on the
22nd. He's here.
Eddie points to the man who drinks tea.
JOY
F15 is here?
DAVID
You sure?
EDDIE
Of course I'm sure. For three
nights
he stared at me like a zombie.
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10.
MARY
So now is your chance to ask him
where he was on the 22nd.
JOY
Get it out of your system Eddie.
At least one of your problems will
have a quick solution.
EDDIE
I never said F15 was a problem
MARY
Go to him Eddie. Maybe he wants
you to.
EDDIE
You think so ?
MARY
Sure. He missed coming on the 22nd
because he knew you were going to
ask him why.
JOY
Just walk to him and say " Where
were you on the 22nd ?"
DAVID
F15 might stick a knife in Eddie.
He'll think Eddie is a cop.
MARY
But he doesn't look like a cop.
DAVID
This man's with the mob so there's
no telling what he'll do.
Clarence comes back with a tray. He puts a
large cup in
front of Mary and another empty one in front
of Joy. a cup
of coffee in front of David. He turns to
leave.
EDDIE
Hey you waiter.
CLARENCE
Me?
MARY
His name is Clarence.
EDDIE
Sure.
(he points to the
man)
You know this guy over there?
CLARENCE
Mr. Roberts ?
(MORE)
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11.
CLARENCE (CONT'D)
He comes in here every night. Same
time. He brings his own bag of tea
and water with him. Drinks only
one kind of tea and water.
MARY
What about the cake ?
CLARENCE
I guess he trusts us with the cake.
Lousy tipper.
EDDIE
Was he here on the 22nd?
CLARENCE
What's today?
DAVID
The 27th.
CLARENCE
Five days ago?
(beat)
Yeah. That was the day he cried.
MARY
Cried?
CLARENCE
Never saw him like that
before.Tears
went into his tea. The boss asked
me to go to and see what was wrong
with him. It's because Mrs. Falina
tried to kill herself three months
ago and the boss was afraid...
DAVID
Get to the point Clarence .
CLARENCE
So I went to Mr. Roberts. He said
that last night he went to see a
play with two guys and it seemed
that they both talked about Norma
as if they knew her well.
DAVID
Who the hell is Norma ?
CLARENCE
His wife.She died 10 months ago.
Only in the play they called her "
Betty "
David, Eddie, Joy and Mary exchange looks.
JOY
Betty?
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12.
CLARENCE
Yeah. He said that they changed
Norma's name but all the rest was
exactly like her. He was feeling
real bad as he was leaving the
theater and went home. He wept all
night.
JOY
But this Norma...
EDDIE
Shut up Joy.
(beat)
Go on Clarence.
CLARENCE
I asked him how sure he was that
this Betty they talked about was
his Norma because after all there
were all kinds of Normas in the
world. He said she was unique but
then I guess we all think that
about the people we love.
MARY
You told him that?
CLARENCE
No. I couldn't. I told him that I
was sure that if he went to the
play again he'll find a lot of
differences between his Norma and
their Betty.
JOY
Did he?
CLARENCE
He went there the next day and the
day after. Two more shows. Then
last night he brought an extra bag
of tea and more water and asked me
to join him.
(beat)
The boss didn't mind. Mr. Roberts
then told me that I was right.
After seeing two more shows he
realized that I was right.Their
Betty sure wasn't his Norma.
MARY
Clever Clarence.
JOY
One hell of a story.
CLARENCE
Yeah.
(MORE)
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13.
CLARENCE (CONT'D)
(beat)
Got to go. End of my shift. You
want to pay now?
DAVID
OK.Bring the check.
Clarence leaves.
MARY
You put something on stage and you
never know who it is going to hit.
EDDIE
Didn't expect anyone to cry for
Norma.
JOY
F15 did.
MARY
You made some money just because
someone cared for her and went
twice more to the play just to
make sure that your Betty wasn't
his Norma.
DAVID
That was true but uncalled for
Mary.
JOY
Maybe you expect us to go to him
and say " Listen Mr. Roberts. Our
Betty is your Norma so how about
us refunding you two tickets ? "
MARY
One never expects a waiter to be
smart.
EDDIE
And a Clarence.
Clarence comes back with the check on a tray.
Joy looks at
the check and takes out a credit card. She
puts both on
the tray.
JOY
(to Clarence)
Please tip yourself 20% Clarence.
CLARENCE
(Taken back)
You mean that Ms. Martin ?
DAVID
Sure. You've earned it.
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14.
CLARENCE
Thanks a lot.Come again.
Clarence leaves.
DAVID
(to Eddie)
I didn't mean that Eddie. About us
splitting up.
EDDIE
We're a team David.
JOY
Got to figure a way to take Betty
out of the play before she does
more harm.
DAVID
(to Joy)
Remember Yolanda Collins? We can
put her in.
EDDIE
Good thinking David. She lived
next door to my grandma and the
guys were talking about her.....
Eddie continues talking while the camera
pulls back until
the four people are very small.
END
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15. |
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אפשר לעשות סטנד
אפ?
יש לי חמש
דקות!
נו...,
אבל למה?
איזה בני אדם
חארות, לא
נותנים להתבטא!
בטח תגידו לי
שירה!
קוס אמא שלך ושל
כל השירה הזו!
יש פה בתולות!
מי בתולה!
אהההההה...
מה לא מצחיק!
מה לא מצחיק!
יא חארות!!!
זהו!
אני מחליף
סוכנת!
לו יהי,
סטנדאפיסט
מתוסכל בראיון
הקבלה לבמה
חדשה!
מוצא נחמה
בסלוגנים, למרות
שהבטיחו לו
קידום. |
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המציאות הנו מקרי בהחלט. אין צוות האתר ו/או
הנהלת האתר אחראים לנזק, אבדן, אי נוחות, עגמת
נפש וכיו''ב תוצאות, ישירות או עקיפות, שייגרמו
לך או לכל צד שלישי בשל מסרים שיפורסמו
ביצירות, שהנם באחריות היוצר בלבד.