WHY THERE ARE STARS. The Weather God cried bitter teas, acid
rain upon the Children. He was sad because the last dolphin
had died. For a hundred days it rained, and then the clouds
dispersed, forcing the Children to stare at the Void. They
made many sacrifices, hoping that the smoke would cover the
sky, and that its clouds would reflect their light back to
them. Again, the Weather God cried, and again they suffered
in the acid. It became crowded in the Void, with so many
dead, so they staged a protest. Each held a cigarette
lighter aloft, shining down upon what was left of the Earth.
The Children saw these lights in the Void, and suffered no
more.

THE REAL REASON. I love you. So, I made a lamp of your kiss.
I light a candle from it everyday, and place them all in
hidden alcoves in the darkness. That is why astronomers keep
discovering new stars. It sure as hell ain't those fancy
telescopes! As the candles melt away, I light new ones. It's
hard work maintaining the cosmos in my heart.