JANUARY 12 2001

A lot of things can go on in two years, and that's what
happen. My father started to drink and my mother left home
with my little brother it was very sad and I don't think
I'll ever forget it I cried and now I can't remember why. I
remember him. That guy  who always knew how to make me smile
even in times like those. my father is upset because the
devours and all, he is drinking a lot and come back in the
middle of the night, he hits me  and I shut up and let him
do what ever he pleases. Sometimes I sit in my room with the
light off and thinking what did I do wrong and how to fix
it. I wasn't very an easy girl. I didn't behave right for
anyone, 'cause of that I think I lost many people between
those, and those people there is me.

Not really a girl but not a woman 16 and a half afraid of
all the people who need to defend her from those who will
hurt her. She never thought that it will happen to her she
new her family as the great thing that ever happen to her,
the thing who will never go away. Well the thing went, and
faster than she thought. her family fell apart and her heart
killed her slow hard death. She was starting to get weird no
one knew about her and her family, and I know I'm talking
from the outside.  


FEBUARY 25 2001

 My father didn't hit me today, I think it is because he
had a good day or something.
He has a girl friend now, I call her the one who fucks
daddy, his whore I don't know if she gets money or not but
she looks happy and kill me but I don't know what the hell
she sees in him. Today I talked with mom and now I hate her
more than ever apparently she knows what he does to me and
she didn't even care she just left with me behind like some
bitch. I didn't cry I don't think she worth it. I don't care
now from anyone, actually if you will ask me? I rather they
all will go to hell!

Her father met a woman a young woman, to be his girl friend
they are together for 5 months now, they are taking it very
series.  It seems like her body is on earth but her soul is
traveling between death and after. She started to depend her
self without any help from any one. from her point of view
it is the end of the world, she had no friends and
family...lets not start. She considered her life as an empty
useless box that all you need to do is throw it away.

FABUERY 27 2001

I got a B in my last work, the teacher said it's a very good
grad but my father didn't like it... I had no joys he was
going to kill me, and his whore watching behind him. I saw
his world through his eyes I smelled the vodka that he drank
three minutes ago, I didn't feel fear but my eyes are full
of tears

The body was found by that police that his girlfriend
called, they found her standing over her father with blood
on her hands and heart broken on the ground.