FADE IN:

INT. DRUGSTORE.-- DAY

Henry Stevens ( 47 ) walks into the drugstore. He wears a
suit. There are four people in the store. Henry takes a
trolley and pushes it in front of him. He stroll between the
aisles. Mary Devenport ( 42 ) a sales person approaches
him.

MARY
Need assistance Henry?

HENRY
No. Thank you Mary.

MARY
What is it that you are looking for ?

HENRY
Well...Well...

MARY
Would you prefer a man ?

HENRY
I didn't walk into your drugstore looking for a man.

MARY
I meant would you rather be served by a man.. a male...

HENRY
Why would I ?

MARY
There are certain products that a male would feel better if
they were offered to him by one of his species

HENRY
like what?

MARY
Condoms for one.

HENRY
Why would I need condoms ?

MARY
Men do.
(beat)
If a woman insists.

HENRY
Lynn is dead.

MARY
Yeah. Three years come August.

Mary's buzzer sound. She looks at it.

MARY (CONT'D)
Well I'll let you continue your search for the unknown.

Mary turns to leave.

HENRY
I know exactly what I'm looking for

Mary leaves. Henry continues to walk in the aisles looking
at products. He picks certain products, look at them and
then puts them down. He slowly approaches the pharmacy.
There is no one there. Henry coughs. Mary comes to the
counter.

MARY
Did you find what you were looking for ?

HENRY
The thing that you said back there.

MARY
You mean...

HENRY
Yeah.
(beat)
Lynn never wanted it.

MARY
I know.

HENRY
(taken back)
She told you?

MARY
No. It's just that she was that kind of a person. She liked
the direct touch between people. Me too.

HENRY
Now it's different.

MARY
You got someone?

HENRY
A woman.She bought me this

He touches his tie.

MARY
Nice. Looks expensive.
(beat)
What brand and color ?

Henry looks at the back of his tie..

MARY (CONT'D)
I meant the...

HENRY
Oh that. I'm sure Shirley wouldn't mind.

MARY
Shirley?

HENRY
Met her in the super. She dropped a tomato and we both bent
to pick it up. Our heads collided.
(laughs)
A lethal collision.

MARY
Shirley Hoskins ? Five foot, red hair, green eyes. Kind of
heavy.

HENRY
She said she was dieting.

Paula Best ( 43 ) approaches the counter.

PAULA
Hi Mary

MARY
Be right with you Paula.
(to Henry)
Well?

HENRY
I'll wait.

PAULA
Who's on diet?

MARY
Shirley Hoskins.

Paula laughs

PAULA
Says who?

HENRY
I did.

PAULA
You two are getting married.

HENRY
Excuse me.

PAULA
(extends her hand)
I'm Paula Best. Own the largest women's clothes store in
town " The Best Spot ".

HENRY
Henry Stevens.
(beat)
What gave you the idea we are getting married ?

PAULA
I guess you don't know much about Shirley Mr. Stevens.

HENRY
Call me Henry. Shirley and I met only a few days ago. We
certainly don't have any marriage plans.

MARY
Yet.

PAULA
She got married five times. The moment she shows up with an
armload of clothes we know she has a man. " I'm starting a
diet Paula. Getting married " she would say.

MARY
Come on Paula. She's Henry's girlfriend.

HENRY
I wouldn't call her my girlfriend.

PAULA
Where you taking her Henry ?  Not to the Dentists' Dinner at
the Pioneers Hall ?

HENRY
Yes.
(beat)
Why?

PAULA
Never mind.

Paula looks at her watch.

PAULA (CONT'D)
You finish with Henry.  I'll be back.
(to Henry)
Nice meeting you Henry.

Paula walks away. Mary slides out a drawer and looks
inside.

MARY
Green would go nicely with her red hair.

HENRY
You got white ones ?

MARY
Off white and yellow.
(smiles)
White are for a first timers so we don't carry much.

HENRY
What was Paula saying about the Dentists Dinner?

MARY
Nothing that would interest you Henry. Gossip.

HENRY
Still.
(beat)
Please Mary.

MARY
Didn't go to the Dentists Dinner last year so I didn't see
it. The day after people started talking.

HENRY
I was there and didn't see anything.

MARY
You probably sat down the whole evening.
(beat)
You didn't go outside for any reason ? Like with a woman.

HENRY
No. I was on my own.

MARY
The way I heard it they cut off some branches that day to
make room for the lamps and the gardener left the ladder
against a tree.

HENRY
You mean Charley ? He was supposed to come to my place the
day after.

MARY
You sure? Because the way I heard it it was the caterer.

HENRY
The caterer didn't bring a ladder with him although he was
expected to hang the lamps on the trees.

MARY
I thought Pioneers Hall carried their own gardening
equipment.

HENRY
They had the wooden ladder until it was stolen two years
ago.

MARY
The one with our names on it

HENRY
1973.

MARY
(laughs)
They say it's unlucky to kiss under a ladder.

HENRY
Was it ?

MARY
For some.  

Dan Drop ( 22 ) comes behind Mary.

DAN
Thanks for filling in for me Mary.

MARY
Sure.

DAN
You finished with the gentleman?

MARY
He wants condoms.

DAN
(to Henry)
What brand, color and size ?
(laughs)
It's not as if we measure them in here although some women
wouldn't mind.

Dan winks at Mary. Mary takes off her white robe.

MARY
(to Henry)
Dan thinks himself as the king of Condoms.
(beat)
Have to go now. Enjoy your date with Shirley tonight.

HENRY
Guess I will Mary.

Mary goes out. Dan walks over to one of the drawers and
takes out several boxes of condoms. He puts them on the
counter as a display.

DAN
This is just part of the stock we carry. What is the color
of this Shirley's hair ?

HENRY
Red.

DAN
All over ?

HENRY
How the hell would I know ?

DAN
Well she's your date.
(beat)
Never mind.

He opens one of the boxes. Takes out a yellow condom.

DAN (CONT'D)
This one is perfect for red hair. Make sure that you show it
to this Shirley before you put it on. It turns them into
wild animals.
(beat)
How many ?

Henry looks behind him.

HENRY
What ?

DAN
How many boxes ?

HENRY
No. Thank you.

Henry walks away.

DAN
Wait. How about red ones ?

Henry approaches the cash register. Mary is there. She wears
a coat and carries a purse. She talks to Paula. Henry just
stands there. Mary notices him.

MARY
All done Henry ?

HENRY
Yes.
(To Paula)
What was it you said about the Dentists Dinner last year ?

PAULA
I really shouldn't.
(beat)
After all Shirley was not to blame was she Mary ?

MARY
Certain people shouldn't drink.

PAULA
Especially if they are with Alan Oswald.
(to Henry)
Just have to tell you so that it won't happen again
tonight.

HENRY
What did she do ?

PAULA
No one knew how much punch Shirley drank.
(beat)
At least not until they served the dessert. It was chocolate
mousse with wild cherries on top.

MARY
Love cherries.

PAULA
Anyway Shirley and Alan picked up their dessert and said
they were going to eat it in the garden. Five minutes
later...

MARY
Ten minutes the way I heard it. She couldn't have taken off
her clothes and climb the tree in five minutes.

HENRY
Shirley climbed to the top of the tree ? Naked ?

Mary looks at her watch.

MARY
Getting late. Got to watch the re-runs of " The  Young and
the Restless ".
(to Henry)
I'm sure Shirley won't repeat it because she knows that the
firemen might not rescue her this time.
(beat)
Just keep your eyes on her all evening. Bye.

HENRY
Wait Mary.
(beat)
I'll be right back. Please

Henry takes out a cellphone from his pocket. He moves away
from Mary and Paula.

PAULA
Naughty wasn't I ?

MARY
I would say bitchy. I never thought you had it in you.  You
should write stories.

PAULA
Ms. Holborn should hear you. She said I lacked an
imaginative mind.

MARY
Have no idea what made Shirley tell you that she was going
with Henry to the Dentists Dinner?

PAULA
Because I asked her what she was doing tonight. I saw Henry
talking to her and just had to know.

MARY
I shouldn't have told you about the affair I once had with
Henry.
(beat)
But thanks.

PAULA
Shirley had it coming. She cheated me with the coupons.

Henry comes back.

HENRY
Mary got to ask you something.

MARY
Got to or want to ?

HENRY
Well. Want to.
(beat)
Suppose I had an extra ticket for the Dentists Dinner?

MARY
and...

HENRY
Would you go with me ?

PAULA
With you and Shirley?

HENRY
You stay out of it Paula. I was talking to Mary.

MARY
Better leave us now Paula.

PAULA
Sure. See you.

She walks away and then turns around and winks at Mary. Mary
winks back.

HENRY
Shirley is not coming.
(beat)
and not because she doesn't want to.

MARY
How do you know ?

HENRY
I called her.
(beat)
How about you and I going back tonight to the scene of the
old sin ?

MARY
But the ladder is no longer there. Wonder who would steal an
old wooden ladder ?

HENRY
How about a not-so-young and restless person hanging to a
wonderful memory ?

MARY
I would love to meet such a person.

HENRY
Walk you home ?

MARY
Sure.

Mary and Henry walk away. Dan comes after them.

DAN
Henry, didn't you forget something ?

MARY
Fuck the condoms Dan

Mary and Henry get out of the store.

END