It`s to hard to love myself and even harder to love someone
else.
there`s so much about me i`d like to change, to ship
thoughts, feelings, emotions and even body parts away to sea
and never to hope never to think about it again.
so many things that i don't know if i should like or hate,
it`s hard to love myself that`s why it's easy to hate.

sometimes i want to hate the whole world for being cruel and
unjust and i still hope to find the cause for my being. i`m
drifting to different directions every now and then burnning
inside with the urge to find my inner strengh and peace. to
make all right and to have my life on the right track.

i hear about the problems of those who complain about their
dates, about the ex, about the one they have and i feel my
impulses want to scream for company, i long for attention, i
crave the love and respect they reject.

so it's hard to love myself, to be here for all these years
for nothing,to be so young and feel so old, i see no reasons
or answers just more questions and problems unsolved. it's
easy to hate, i hate myself to reliefe some of the pain of
lonelyness, i hate myself and i don't know why anymore, i
won`t let anyone near this pain, this emptyness. i won't let
me in.