i spent a whole lot of time in preoccupying my mind
lately
thinking about ways to spoil myself and to kill myself
and if it's doable- thinking of ways to do both at the same
time
but then as my body fails as usually on me
i fell asleep
woke up inside your warn hug but
it chilled out immediately
fell asleep
woke up from a nightmare into a cold sweat all over me
life sucks when you try to fight the depression
and when the depression uses passive resistance on you and
won't move aside
real harsh
so it's so a shame about the days i spent
and so shame about the fucks we were might as well
missing out because of that
but didn't
so... then you wonder what makes me sad
when u please me and make me smile
really, why is that!?