HONEY (Money ) MOON
(Script )

FADE IN:

INT. A NON-LUXURY HOTEL ROOM. DAY

George Knoll ( 27 ) sits on the bed. He holds a card in his
hand.

GEORGE
(shouts)
There is an error I tell you.

MARY (O.S.)
I'll be right out.

GEORGE
I swear it is an " r " and not a " t".

He switch on the lamp near the bed and puts the card
underneath the light. Bends his head. Mary Knoll ( 23 ) gets
out of the bathroom. She wears a robe and carries clothes in
her hand.

MARY
George you got to call reception and ask them to fix the
shower.

GEORGE
Wonder how many guests noticed the error. It's certainly an
" r ".

MARY
The wedding is over George so even if the printer did make
an error what's the use?
(beat)
The shower leaks and I can't hang anything in there.

GEORGE
Use the cleaning services of the hotel Mary.

MARY
The cleaning services costs a bundle Mr. Big Spender. Call.

Mary goes to him and snatches the card off his hand. George
looks at her. He smiles.

GEORGE
Even in this old robe you look sexy.

MARY
This is THE robe love.

George looks at her.

MARY (CONT'D)
You don't remember George.

GEORGE
Give me a hint.

Mary goes to the table and puts down the card.

MARY
I'll give you two. Alicia and hard-on.

George smiles

GEORGE
That's Alicia's robe?

MARY
Yap. I bought it from her just to see this lump in your
pants.

George gets up. He goes to Mary and hugs her.

MARY (CONT'D)
I don't feel the lump George.

GEORGE
Give us time honey.

MARY
On our honeymoon ?

GEORGE
Got to get used to being married.

They kiss. The phone rings. George reaches for it. Mary
takes back his hand.

MARY
Don't stop.

The ring stops.

GEORGE
Was it yours or mine?

MARY
Mine'll call again in 20 seconds.
(beat)
We never done it standing up behind curtains.

Mary takes George's hand and they go to the curtains. The
phone rings again.Mary goes back.

MARY (CONT'D)
Mine.

Mary picks up the phone.

MARY (CONT'D)
What is it mom ?

She listens.

MARY (CONT'D)
Yeah. We know. We'll pick you up in 30  minutes.  

Mary listens and laughs

MARY (CONT'D)
We got to get dressed as well.

Mary hangs up the phone.

GEORGE
What was that " as well "?

MARY
She said it took her and Dad 5 minutes to fuck on their
honeymoon so we can pick her up in 15 minutes.

Mary takes George's hand and leads him to the curtains. They
go behind them.

GEORGE (O.S.)
Ouch.

MARY (O.S.)
Is it my fingernail?

GEORGE (O.S.)
No. I hit my foot on something.

George gets out from behind the curtain. He holds a suicase
in his hand.

MARY (O.S.)
Come back George.

GEORGE
It is a godmann suitcase.

Mary gets out from behind the curtains. She ties the robe.

GEORGE (CONT'D)
It's not one of ours, is it Mary ?

MARY
No. Looks too expensive.
(beat)
Maybe one of your uncles decided to surprise us with an
extra wedding gift ?

GEORGE
There's a tag.

George bends down and reads

GEORGE (CONT'D)
Alan Mohler. 818 435 7849
(beat)
Guy must've been in a rush if he left it behind. I'll call
reception.

George puts down the suitcase. He walks over to the phone.
Picks it up. Mary runs to him.  She snatches the phone off
his hand and puts it down.

MARY
No.

GEORGE
No what?

MARY
No reception and no what's his name. The suitcase is damn
expensive.

GEORGE
So?

MARY
I bet what's inside is worth a lot. Could be this Alan
thinks he lost it somewhere. Let's find if there is a reward
for returning it.
(beat)
I'm going to call him. What was that number ?

George goes to the suitcase. He picks it up and puts it on
the bed. Reads the tag

GEORGE
Alan Mohler, 818 435 7849

Mary dials. Waits. She puts down the phone.

GEORGE (CONT'D)
Well ?

MARY
No one's there.

GEORGE
How many times did it ring ?

MARY
5

GEORGE
Suppose he has a big house and could not get there in time?

MARY
Big house and no extensions? Come on George.



GEORGE
When we go down we'll give it to the reception...

MARY
Sure. And let them collect the reward.

GEORGE
Oh.
(beat)
It's late Mary. They're all waiting for us in the
restaurant.

MARY
OK. Put it back where it was. And cover it well just in case
someone decides to clean there.

GEORGE
But Mary...

MARY
Get dressed. We'll talk about it when we get back.

INT.  SAME HOTEL ROOM.-- NIGHT

Room is dark. The door opens and the light goes on. Mary and
George enter. George closes the door behind them. He puts
the key in his pocket. Mary puts her purse on the table.

GEORGE
You know Uncle Bernard. He was joking.

MARY
Well. I hated it.
(mimic)
" Let me feel your meat dear. I'm a butcher ".

George comes behind her and puts his arms around her.

GEORGE
I love your meat. Let's finish what we started this
afternoon.

George kisses her neck and starts to open the zipper of her
dress. Mary holds his hands and takes them off her
shoulders.

MARY
Yeah. Let's.

Mary goes to the curtains and brings out the suitcase.

GEORGE
This?

MARY
Yeah. All through dinner this was on my mind.

GEORGE
Let's take a shower first. I'll show you a thing or two.

MARY
You go in. I'll join you in a minute.

GEORGE
If you want to call this guy don't. It's much too late.

MARY
I'm not going to. I tried.Once.
(beat)
We're opening it.

She examins the suitcase

MARY (CONT'D)
No lock.

GEORGE
We can't Mary.

MARY
Watch me George.

Mary slides open the zipper of the suitcase. She lifts the
lid.  C.Up on packets of money notes held together by rubber
bands. Mary touches it. She picks up one packet and takes
off a note. George looks at it.

MARY (CONT'D)
It's a hundred. There must be hundred notes in each packet
Ten thousand in each packet.

GEORGE
Put it back Mary. I'm taking it to reception.

Mary counts the packets.

MARY
25. A quarter of a million George.

GEORGE
It can't be kosher.
(beat)
Someone'll come for it. With guns.

Mary over turns the suitcase and the packets of money fall
on the bed.  Mary throws packets at George who is trying to
catch them.

GEORGE (CONT'D)
Mary stop it. Put the money back. It's not ours

Mary takes off the rubber bands and scatter the note on the
bed. George grabs her hands. Mary looks at him.

MARY
Whose money is it George ?

GEORGE
This guy Alan something. Could be ...

MARY
What?

GEORGE
He is a drug dealer or a robber in which case we don't want
any part in it.
(beat)
We just got married Mary and we don't want to start out life
with guys chasing after us.

MARY
We're checking out in the morning and taking the money with
us. No one'll know we have it. We'll leave the suitcase
where it was only empty.

The phone rings. George is startled. Mary gets up.

GEORGE
Don't answer Mary. It could be them.

Mary picks up the phone.

MARY
Yes?

She listens.

MARY (CONT'D)
Only if you move us into a suit.Make us a special rate and
we'll pay the difference.

She listens

MARY (CONT'D)
Ok.  Send someone up for our things  and ask room service to
send a bottle of your best red wine and a selection of
cheese.
(beat)
the imported stuff.

Mary puts down the phone. She smiles.

GEORGE
You nuts?

MARY
It was reception. They're moving us to a suit on the top
floor. For the night.
(beat)
It seems they can't fix the leaking shower.

GEORGE
We can't afford...

MARY
Yes we can. Put your mind into the " rich" gear dear
George.

She starts to collect the notes and puts the rubber bands
around them.

MARY (CONT'D)
Help me George.  They'll be here soon to take our things to
the suit.

She stops.

MARY (CONT'D)
First thing I am doing up there is calling Alicia and
leaving a message to call me back at the Princess Suit in
the Europe Hotel.She won't know what hit her.

George collects the money into packets. He puts rubber band
around each packet.

GEORGE
It's wrong Mary. It's cheating.

MARY
Cheating whom ? Honest guys don't go around with suitcase
filled with 250 thousand dollars. This is why they have
banks and credit cards.
(beat)
Directly from here we go to the bank and rent a safe.

GEORGE
The kind of guys that don't believe in banks use guns and
threats.

MARY
They got to know that we took the money. A cleaning woman or
a waiter could have found the suitcase.

GEORGE
From the look of the room it hasn't seen a cleaning woman in
ages.
(beat)
They'll go after this Alan guy.

MARY
Not if it is his money.

GEORGE
It's not. No one with this kind of money will stay in this
crummy hotel. He was a messanger.

Mary collets the packets. She closes the empty suitcase and
takes it behind the curtain.

MARY
Get our suitcases from the wardrobe and put them on the
bed.

George opens the cupboard and takes out two suitcases.Mary
takes clothes form the wardrobe.

MARY (CONT'D)
Open them.

George opens the suitcases.Mary begins to arrange the
packets of money in one of the suitcases.

GEORGE
They'll kill him for sure. Maybe he's already dead just
because he couldn't deliver the money.

MARY
Do you know him ?

GEORGE
You know I don't.

MARY
So why do you care George.Why the hell did you have to bring
it up ?

GEORGE
Well, I might see his picture in the paper tomorrow. It will
say " Alan something was killed last night.  An eye witness
said that two men stopped him in the street and firsd five
time into his body. It was too dark for me to see their
faces "

MARY
Forget it George. I am not calling this guy again.
(beat)
You said it was too late.

GEORGE
That was before you opened the suitcase.

MARY
We. We opened it lover so it's ours and that's final.

The phone rings.

MARY (CONT'D)
Tell them it's OK to come up and collect our things.

George goes to the phone. He picks it up.

GEORGE
Yeah?

Listens

GEORGE (CONT'D)
Who ?

Looks at Mary.

GEORGE (CONT'D)
Wait a minute.

George covers the mouthpiece with his hand and starts
laughing.

MARY
You gone crazy ?

GEORGE
Come here.

Mary comes over. George takes his hand off the mouthpiece.

GEORGE (CONT'D)
Here. Tell my wife.

George gives the phone to Mary. She takes it.

MARY
Yeah?

Mary listens.

MARY (CONT'D)
Damn.
(beat)
How sure are you that this Harmon guy is a magician ?

Listens

NARY
Money tricks ? I thought grown ups don't go to such shows.
(beat)
Have no idea if his suitcase is here but he can come up and
look for it. Give us 5 minutes.

Mary hangs up the phone. She looks at George. Goes to the
their suitcase and starts to take out the money.George helps
her.

MARY
Give me his suitcase.

George brings the suitcase and they fill it up.

MARY (CONT'D)
We were rich.

GEORGE
You think we should tell our kids one day?

He closes the suitcase and puts it behind the curtain. Knock
on the door.

GEORGE (CONT'D)
Coming.

END.


Yair Packer
P.O.Box 33444, Tel Aviv 61333, Israel