And there's a first. Tears.
They were meant to come afterall. All this time they were
cuddled into each other, all this silence, all these lost
thoughts wandering around... sooner or later, one of them
was bound to shed a tear or two.

She was first.
Lying there on the bench down the park at midnight was
probably the thing she liked most. That special spot where
she could let everything out without having any seconds
thoughts or guilt trips. She could always be on her own
right there. She could always have her own silent space in
there if she wanted to.
She liked the touch of his hand stroking her hair. She never
minded him sitting down there with her, she felt comfortable
and safe as she laid her head on his lap. Every time she
watched the stars she could watch his face from below, every
breath he took making her wince.
How someone could be too much was beyond her. She never
realised how loving someone could drive her crazy, that is
until she looked at him in the eye. Was it possible to love
someone more than she could imagine? Of course it was. He
could make her scream just with a smile, he could make her
burst in tears just with one look.
She never meant to fall in love with him. She'd taken the
risk when they first met and she let herself fall so deep.
She hated him for doing this to her, but most of all she
hated herself for being a fool. She was a fool. A love
fool, perhaps, but a fool alright. She felt sorry for
herself for feeling the way she did, letting herself
dream... letting illusions take control over her.
Go away... bloody tears. She was too weak to even see
herself cry when she closed her eyes and tried to swallow
the sobs. It's no help for no one... Breathe in. Breathe
out. Pull yourself together, tears are nothing but a
waste.

It could never happen. They were so distant from each
other.
And he didn't have to say anything at all. The silence was
too loud to bear - they had been in the same position for
ages, none of them saying a word.

He realised she was cold when he pressed his hand against
her cheek. He caressed her face gently, pressing his lips so
tight, as he was afraid he might burst any moment. He'd
promised himself when it started he would never let himself
fall for her, she was so wrong for him. He'd never imagined
himself being with her before, being with someone like her.
She wasn't right for him, they lived in two different worlds
that were blocked away from each other. They were
strangers.
But feelings were too hard to resist. First came the
longings, then the sleepless nights, then the impossible
thought of living without her. It was impossible! He hated
himself for doing this, for drowning himself in misery for
no sensible reason. He never needed anyone else, he never
asked for someone like her... he never asked for someone at
all. No one at all!

So love wasn't stronger than anything after all.
Both of them knew why it could never work out... it could
have happened if their hearts hadn't been set on someone
else. And that someone else wasn't each other, it appeared.

And with that, they spent the rest of the night next to each
other saying nothing. There was nothing that was needed to
say, nor nothing they could say to each other.
So they let the rest of the tears shed down. They could no
longer fight them back.



Wish you knew how it feels. -- April 21st, 2002