I woke up and went to the yard and started reading a book.
And I didn't eat breakfast but just went out to the yard, I
haven't slept for about 3 days
And I didn't feel hungry, I lived on cigarettes.
After reading for about 2 hours I got up and walked in took
some bread and went back out side to read while
Eating the bread they came to me and asked me to give them
some blood, they need it for the tests,
To see if I am good enough to live, to go out and come back
to life.
If I will be good enough they will revive me. If not they
will punish me they too k the blood.
I felt a bit sick they took allot they have to know if I am
ready.
After reading some more.
They called me and said I have a meeting with god.
I was glad I knew god is all-powerful and he is the only one
who could get me out of here.
I got there by a mistake.
Someone made a mistake and I ended up in hell.
But I was very much alive I haven't died yet, I don't need
to be here.
Around me lost souls that got there, and they had to because
it was the place for them.
But hell is strange it is divided in to 2 parts.
One the lost souls that have been doomed in life, they are
dead.
And the second part is where the souls that got there and
still have some life left in them.
A big glass wall divides the 2 parts so the souls could see
what goes on, on the other side.
To remind them that they are not living and where they are.
For those that are doomed and sit in the dark pit to see
those that still have life and envy,
To fell sorry for themselves that they are dead.
And for those that are still have some life in them too see
the doomed and remember that it is not heaven,
It is hell and sees the madness that goes on within.
So anyway I was summoned to see god.
I came to god and saw her sitting in her big leather chair,
with files on her big wooden desk.
She was studying a file, it was mine.
She looked at me right in the eye, I could see that she was
studying me, she looked tired and
There was some trace of dislike in her look.
Then she opens her mouth and talks.
"I see you have died but you are still alive, I mean you are
in the unsure state of dying.
I will leave you here until you come back to life, and I
will help you achieve that goal."
I asked her how long will it take?
She said that it will take a week.
But the seven days it took god to create earth was much more
it was millions of years
So it took much more.
It is funny in hell time seems to stop it crawls slowly.
I went back to the little yard in the pit lit myself a
cigarette,
Sat down and thought about my conversation with god.
I felt like I will get back to life soon god wont lie to me,
she is great and wise.
I trusted her.
After a week I was moved out of the pit to the part with the
souls that still have some life left in them.
I thought for a second about the promises god made that I
will be out of here and back to life in a week,
She lied to me. But I forgot that, I felt happy I got out of
the pit.
I sat down and smoked another cigarette and forgot all about
it.  Then I got up and came up to some souls
That were playing ping-pong, I played a game with them I
suck at this game but I didn't care.
Then we sat down and smoked a cigarette and talked about how
we got there.
They told me how they died most of them just felt really low
and fought the worst illness of them all
Depression, and lost.
They were nice.
I liked them they made me forget my own problem about
getting there as a result of a mistake.
We sat there for a while smoking and talking.
Suddenly I was called to see god again.
When I came in the room she was sitting behind her desk with
a cold look in her eyes.
She told me that I will have to stay there a bit longer they
have not located my problem yet so they cant save me,
I said reminded her about her promises to get me out of here
in a week.
She said it would take a bit more.
A week later I had become friends with some most of the
souls in this part of hell.
I had some roommates and we sat and well passed the time
together smoking and playing ping-pong.
I was getting quit pissed by god's promises already, i have
been here for about 3 month and god kept promising
Me shit she could do.  She didn't see anything and know
anything she only knew that she was god and that is it.
She didn't see anything that wasn't the way she thought it
was her way or no way.
God was mean, the longer you been there the better you saw
the lies and the web god made to cover
The fact she had almost no powers.
She couldn't do anything but torture you, but she had one
great ability she was the only one who could
Bring you back to life so you wouldn't want her as you
enemy.
I was sitting and reading a book when one of the souls went
out of gods office.
She looked upset. I kept reading and thought god had pissed
her off, god did.
I lit a cigarette and thought to myself what could have
happened in gods office.
Then suddenly I saw god's minions running to her room, she
tried to kill her self.
Yes souls can die its harder for souls, gods minions are
always on the watch for the souls,
If a soul want to kill it self it must not get caught if it
does it is sent to the pit.
And tortured for hours some times even days.
I was shocked, I stopped believing in god.
I realized she was only human, fuck god fuck redemption this
is my hell.
I got her and I will find a way out of here.
And I did.
I got out of the mental hospital.
It wasn't really hell and there was no god, no souls, no
nothing.
It was just a mental hospital nothing more nothing less but
the doctors felt like gods they didn't care about us
They felt absolutely comfortable playing with our lives and
minds we were like ants to them.
And we were the souls that needed redemption, from ourselves
maybe from them for sure,
After seeing it all I knew what I am and I knew that it
wasn't hell but it was my hell.
There is not heaven or hell after death, its just a state of
mind in life. I know that that was my hell
And if there is a hell there must be a heaven some where on
earth.
And only after you find your greatest fears and visit hell
you can truly know what you are and what you want,
And I am off to find it.