It's getting too hard holding my tears

almost everyday now
sitting, thinking, just holding my tears

and I don't even know why anymore
there's no reason good enough
no fucking reason
I'm just sitting, writing, holding my tears

and i'm getting so sick of it
running after my happiness
my life, that's just playing games with me
,until I get tired of playing, and find myself just sitting
taking my breath, and holding my tears

and I ask myslef when will it all end
I ask myself when will I find the answer
I ask myself what's wrong with me
what the fuck is wrong?!

but it never ends,
I never find the answer
I never find what's wrong, just what isn't right
and I just keep on sitting, hopeless
...I can't hold my tears anymore