New Stage - Go To Main Page

נעמה בן נון
/ Life and lose

I close my eyes and wonder, not for the first time, what it
would feel like when the option to open them won't be an
option anymore...
I close my eyes again, now takes one step forward with
hesitation, the next one is easier more confident, and then
I slip...
That's how life feels like every once in a while, we go
blind folded towards the future never knows what will bring
the next day, for better and for worse.
We keep on going, wondering where the path will lead us,
when will it end, how, why, where, with whom...
And each day we learn how short life is and how few are the
memories we eventually take with us to the journey.
Some of the days are good, the sun is shining, we laugh,
smile and forget all the worries just for a few short
moments the world is perfect, there are no wars and
diseases, for those few moments we are happy, and the next
step is easy and obvious.
Some of the days are different, harder, less optimistic, we
open our eyes to see the clouds outside with a glimpse of
light every once in a while and the thunder that always
takes us off guard. We feel an unexpected shiver in our
bones, and just wait for the bad news to come.
We are less secure, more vulnerable...
And some starts with blue sky and a warm sun and ends at the
most sudden and unexpected scenario.
We open our eyes each and every single day hoping to see
that huge fire in the sky that keeps us warm and give us the
confidence and desire to take the next step with no
hesitations, but always makes the effort to prepare for the
worse, even though evidently we all know that no matter how
prepared we'll be it won't change the efficiency of the
blow.
Mostly we try not to think of the worst, it's only
subconsciously.
Sometimes absent, sometimes as a frequent visitor, it
happens, knockout, we lay there, bleeding, not sure if we
can go on and how.
The mind and heart keeps a sturdy argument how to handle the
situation, what is the best way to keep on moving, what are
the best crutches to work with in order to be back on the
feet with the will to take the next step, to make the effort
and cross that bump in the road called life.
We do our best, we want to live and make the best of our
time, knowing how short it could be, unfortunately it might
not be enough, we try to take each battle with bravery, but
at the end we lose the war, some lose after a long time and
some are taken earlier than expected.

The young are the harder cases, the stories that surely
should have ended differently, the wars that were lost
because of something that no will and effort could defeat,
you can call it god or destiny or whatever your mind leads
you.

Its unbearable to see a kid in a grave and a mother cries
and yells, wishing to switch places with her beloved, it
doesn't feel right to see a father, broken, says a pray for
the child he had just lost.

We take the long walk in the cemetery; with each step we
shiver and understand just a bit more that he won't be there
anymore, the deep eyes, the unpredictable smile that shines
the room in moments, that optimism that kept him going
through the bad and the worst.
We see the covered body in the ground, and the sky cry with
us, they know it should have been different, but there's
nothing to do but cry.
We can't rewind the clock...



we press 'save' on the keyboards in our heads in that last
effort to treasure the most of the person he was, to keep
his best and clearest picture, and the most significant or
idiotic moments in the hard disk, with another disk on key
for back up.
We give him the time he deserves, wish he is in a better
place for as long as it takes, and knows that he will always
be with us in mind and heart.

But eventually, with a new baggage on our back, we just take
the next step...
With time, it will be easy, that's how the program works.

Even though the words sound mechanical, in life the progress
is slow and painful, in the way that no word can express, in
a way that is special for each person, the way that only the
shuddered piece of our heart we leave there, in that walk,
can express.



היצירה לעיל הנה בדיונית וכל קשר בינה ובין
המציאות הנו מקרי בהחלט. אין צוות האתר ו/או
הנהלת האתר אחראים לנזק, אבדן, אי נוחות, עגמת
נפש וכיו''ב תוצאות, ישירות או עקיפות, שייגרמו
לך או לכל צד שלישי בשל מסרים שיפורסמו
ביצירות, שהנם באחריות היוצר בלבד.
בבמה מאז 28/10/11 15:26
האתר מכיל תכנים שיתכנו כבלתי הולמים או בלתי חינוכיים לאנשים מסויימים.
אין הנהלת האתר אחראית לכל נזק העלול להגרם כתוצאה מחשיפה לתכנים אלו.
אחריות זו מוטלת על יוצרי התכנים. הגיל המומלץ לגלישה באתר הינו מעל ל-18.
© כל הזכויות לתוכן עמוד זה שמורות ל
נעמה בן נון

© 1998-2024 זכויות שמורות לבמה חדשה