Sometimes I hear people say something which, however
meaningless to the, hurt. They hurt because I am not with
you. Someone asked, as a joke, from a performer in a small
party, to dedicate a wedding song to a couple who argue too
much. My joy was instantly decapitated as rebellious longing
began to seep into my consciousness. Longing for you, for
your company, just wanting you to be here, with me. I want
the aforementioned comment to be made at us.

I miss you when we were never together and I yearn for the
closeness of your impossibly blue eyes, which even the
gigantic distance between us cannot erase from my memories.
I sit here, in this lonely place, way too many miles away
from you, knowing I cannot have you. I listen to Dave
Matthews Band and wish I could tell people this was 'our'
band.

Suddenly nostalgic memories of how we met hammer me in the
heart. You don't know but I don't consider the first words
we exchanged as our first time with each other. Fate has
intervened, and unlike other writers I'm too much of a
realist to ever have thought
Fate existed. It has intervened a week before I fell down
the stairs of love. I sat with my best friend in a local
restaurant and ranted about a bitter tasting dish of my
loneliness and disappointment at every turn. And I can still
remember the words he told me then as if etched upon my
consciousness. ''Do not chase your luck; someone will bring
it to you.''

And come you did, letting me gaze at your enchanting golden
locks for the first time. We were both at work. And that was
the first time I let you go on without me. We exchanged
nothing but pleasantries and you forgot me not half an hour
later as I finished my shift slightly dazzled. Later, we met
again in a most wonderful party. I did not enjoy it until by
chance your friend sat across and enquired my name. Two
minutes later we were both in deep in discussion. You
laughed and my soul felt like chocolate. You revealed sweet
humility and it felt like August and melted. And yet, feet
and tongue in stasis, I made no move.

It was only towards the end of the night, that it dawned on
me like a rock in a thrown into a pond, disturbing the
smooth water level, how entranced I was by you. For the
first time in my life, I retracted my steps and, as if we
were alone in the cramped and noisy club and as if I was a
schoolboy again, I asked you out.

Two weeks and only two lovely nights out together, I flew
far away, thinking I can forget you. But the disappointment
keeps crashing back at me like the worst car accident.

I want you back

I wish to be near you again

I cannot look at others

Where are you?
And why aren't you answering my calls?