Rami woke up with a sharp feeling of agonized pain shooting
all the way from his upper thigh. He shook his head in an
effort to get his vision back. As time progressed the
picture of the origin of the pain grew clearer from a big
dark blur to a big white blur with teeth.
"Good morning, asshole!" said Dortmund and spat some skin
out of his mouth "there's someone at the door"
"Cant you wake me up like normal dogs do?"
"What, you mean like licking your face and bringing you your
slippers?"
"That could be nice"
"Well I don't do this, and I've sacrificed your slippers
last night to my master"
"By that you mean you peed in them and you didn't want me to
find out so you burnt them much like you did with Gill's
car?"
"You say Pothato I say Potaito, and that should be a lesson
to you, not to lock me in"
After a few tiring attempts to get up Rami realized he was
lying on the floor. "I must have fallen from the bed in my
sleep" he said out loud
"Yeah, that's what happened" Dortmund sniggered
Rami could still feel the taste of what would be alcohol, if
that liquid was any less refined, that he had last night.
"Last time, I drink something that came out of gas truck"
thought Rami... the doorbell rang again but this time Rami
was conscious enough to hear it and regret every bleeding
second (and I do mean bleeding). Rami reached to his bed
looking for his shirt, with eyes closed, when his prowling
hand stumble into something furry the first thought that has
come to mind was "Dortmund get away from my bed"
"What?" Dortmund said from behind Rami. Rami turned around
and saw Dortmund behind him licking himself
"God man, don't do that..."
"Hey being a dog has its privileges."
"Wait, if you are here then what..." Rami fingers prowled a
bit more on the ferry stuff until he stumbled upon a wet
nose...
"Ahh" Rami screamed as he saw, what was laying on his bad.
The gorilla looked at Rami with a satisfied look, which
meant, if a gorilla could smoke it would probably have asked
Rami for a cigarette by now.
Rami grabbed his shirt and ran through the door closing it
as if hoping when he opens it again that thing would not be
there, Rami tried to ignore the limp as he faltered to the
door.
The doorbell rang again Rami clutched his ears and tried to
hold the blood inside. The doorbell sounded, to Rami
hangover ears, like an entire set of church bells rang
simultaneously in a mine shaft. And that my friends is very
loud.
He opened the door struggling to cease the ringing in his
ears. And at the door was standing Gill with a worried
expression on his face.
"Rami I need help" the voice of Gill sounded very distant to
Rami
"What?" Rami yelled as someone would in a noisy factory
"I need help quickly"
"What? I can't hear you my ears hurts really bad"
"Oh oh" said Gill... and spontaneously burst into fire.
At this point you can now tell by the many times I, the
author of these ludicrous stories, like fire a lot just
wanted to explain.
"ahh ahh it burns it burns... make it stop" Gill ran in
circles around the house with his arm flapping high in the
air until finally came to halt and started rolling on the
floor until the fire went out.
Rami looked with amazement and confusion at the crisped
Gill...
"So... had a bad morning too I see?"
"Don't ask!"
"What with that Lord of the flame dance here?"
"I'm not sure but I think every time someone says hur... I
apparently burst into flames"
"Really" Rami gave Gill an evil grin. Gill locked at him
like a cat looks at an incoming car driving 90 MPH.
"Amm" Rami cleared his throat "please no" Gill bagged "HURT"

"Ahh ahh ahhh the pain" Gill rolled around trying to put out
the fire.
"It must really HURT?!"
"You could say that again" said Gill as he rose up from the
floor
"Oh ok it must really HURT!"
"Yes the burning sensation on my ski... OH CRAAAAA  my
eyeballsssss helppp meeee"
"Well this day ain't gonna be a bad day after all" Rami
sniggered
Gill followed Rami to his living room on the way Gill
noticed something
"Tell me why are you limping?"
Rami turned around and stared Gill in his eyes... Gill
automatically started rolling on the floor
"because my ass HURTS!!!"
"Ahhhh skin pealing of my bones..." (Gill burnout countdown:
4)
Rami sat on the couch and watched, with great amount of
amusement, the suffering of Gill...
"Damn you" Gill finally put the fire out and cleaned his
eyebrows from his shoulders.
"God damn it, this is the last time I'm letting you take me
to a LAN party" said Rami
"How the hell did you got to this situation?" he asked
"Remember last night when I talked to the shop owner"
"I can't even remember why there's a gorilla in my bed."
"What?"
"Never mind carry on" Rami started to shake nervously
"Well anyhow I accidentally said that the X-BOX console suck
and PS2 is better"
"Why would you do that I told those guys are dangerous,
never insult their consoles they probably worship that damn
thing."
"At any rate I think he cursed me"
"God damn it, you stupid fuck, why do you have to keep
insulting ancient demons and drug crazed warlocks?"
"Well what should I do?"
"Now we have to go there and apologize and hopefully they
will remove that curse"

Some time later Rami, Gill and Dortmund arrived at the store
and parked their car.
As they arrived to the door shop they noticed that it looked
like nobody was there
Rami tried to open the door but with no success.
"I guess the store is closed" said Rami
"No I can't go the whole day like that I already lost all of
my hair" said Gill as he tried knocking on the door "any one
there? Please! Open up!"
"I think I hear chanting" Dortmund said has he applied his
keen animal senses.
Gill took a short running distance and tried to ram the door
open, which by now you probably realize wasn't a very smart
idea.
"OUCH I think I hurt my shoulder"
The universe went silent as he watched with awe at how
stupid one man can be,
"Ahhhhh ahhhhh I'm burning OHHH the pain ahhh ah ha ha
ah...."
"Wait a second I didn't know Gill could do that" Said
Dortmund with an expression of amusement on his face
"Ah ah ah somebody help me...." Screamed Gill as he ran amok
through the streets
"This changes the entire picture... I'm gonna have fun
today"
"ahhhh my face is pealing! The humanity!" Gill ran until he
stumbled on a trash can and fell down a couple of stairs.
"Ahh CRUNCH my hip... CRANCK ohhhh my neck... somebody
please kill me... put me out of my misery..." Dortmund
laughed so hard that he couldn't even breathe. Finally Gill
reached the bottom of the staircase "finally death..." (Gill
burnout countdown: 5)
"Gramma?" said Gill as he regained his consciousness.
"No" said Dortmund and leaned over Gill
"What is that god awful smell? It smells like urine" said
Gill
"I had to put the fire out somehow" he replied
"At least you didn't "sacrifice me to your gods" like you
did to my car"
"Let me try the door" said Rami as he brought his briefcase
from the car "one of the privileges I had as working in that
lab was the infinite supply of plastic explosives" he said
while he set the explosives on the lock "stay back" he said.

puck
"Dang I expected a little more like BOOM or at least
KAPOW" said Dortmund.
"What do you want it's a low budget story we can't afford
special effects"
The door flung open and the trio went in. there was nobody
inside. They took the stairs down. When they approached the
lower floor they heard some sort of chanting commencing and
the smell of incense filled the air. Gill stuck to the wall
and leaned around the corner.
"I learned this trick in "splinter-cell"" he said as if
reading Dortmund mind.
What Gill saw was, a bunch of old hippies dressed in weird
ceremonial clothes, which looked like they were stolen from
a set of Buffy. They were five of them standing in a
pentagram pattern and chanting. In the middle was laid a
podium on which the X-BOX lied with candles all around it
"Damn they are worshiping that thing!" whispered Gill
"I knew it" Rami gloated
"I've got an idea" said Dortmund and ran to the podium
"BOW TO ME FEEBLE HUMANS I SHALL SHOW YOU REAL POWER. I
SHALL DESTROY THIS FALSE DEMON." Dortmund kicked the X-BOX
All eyes were looking at Dortmund as a grizzly bear looking
at a nature photographer who just dared to kick her cub.
Knuckles cracked shotguns cocked and the angry mob was
advancing towards Dortmund
"DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH WITH YOUR PITIFULL HUMEN POWER" the
crowd kept advancing towards Dortmund
"Ahh... guys a little help please"
"Don't kill me I don't want to die" he wined like a little
doggy
"Well that went well" Gill expressed his opinion on the
situation
"I've got a plan" said Rami "we'll create a distraction and
then well snatch the X-box and trade it for the curse
removal"
"Great idea Einstein, but how are you going to create a
distraction..." Gill looked at Rami's evil grin "oh no...
not again"
"Don't worry it is not going to HURT"
Gill burst into flames and ran to the room like a beheaded
chicken
"agaagagagagaag ahhh ahah agsgaga ahahh ahhh" (Gill burnout
countdown: 6)
The angry mob stopped and stared at the Gill, the human
torch. Rami didn't hesitated and grab the X-BOX "come Gill"
he yelled whilst running towards the car.
They both rushed to the car and sped home
"We did it" they both yelled and gave an incompetent high
five
"I love it when a plan comes together" said Rami while
removing an invisible bud of cigar from his mouth
"You'd better not leave any skin in my car" he said as he
looked at the crisped Gill.
"Wait haven't we forgot something" they both looked at each
other
"Damn we forgot to ransom the X-BOX for your cure"
"Crap"
Couple of days later at Rami's house (Gill burnout
countdown: The state fire department has declared him a risk
zone already)
"I haven't seen Dortmund since we've been to that store.
Where is he?"                        
"Damn I can't believe we forgot about it" said Gill as he
kicked the table
"Ouch that hurt... OH CRAP" nothing happened they both
looked at each other
"What the fuck" they both said
"Hey Dortmund! Where have you been?" said Rami as Dortmund
entered the house.
"In that store, thank you for remembering to pick me up"
"I knew we forgot something else there" said Rami
"So wait why haven't I burst into flames"
"While I was there I showed them Final Fantasy on PS2 and
they kinda forgot about the X-BOX so I guess they have lost
all their powers".
"Thank you SQUARE-ENIX"  
"Seriously man why were you limping the other day?" asked
Gill