There was a girl who wanted to become an angel. But she
didn't want to wait until she dies and goes to heaven,
because she wasn't sure heaven really existed, so she didn't
want to take a chance. This girl wanted to become an angel
on Earth. "This way," she thought, "I'll kill two birds with
one stone: I'll both stay alive and fly in the sky, bringing
happiness to suffering people." She was very proud of this
brilliant thought of hers, but immediately felt a little
ashamed of it because it contained killing birds.
 When this girl was very young, she kept waiting for a
knight on a white horse, or an angel with white wings, who
would come to her and change her life miraculously. However,
as time went by and nothing white came along except snow in
the winters and toilet paper, she reached the simple, like
all genius things, conclusion: if others didn't do it for
her, she'd do it for them. So what if no one yet succeeded
to become a living angel? It's their problem, not hers. She
can.
 The girl who wanted to become an angel might not have been
a very smart one, but she sure was a woman of action and
once she decided something, she just went out and did it
without hesitation. So the day after she decided that she
wants to become an angel, she quit her job at McDonald's
(because what real angel can sell dead cows for a living?)
and went shopping for white clothes, which wasn't an easy
task, because the girl who wanted to become an angel didn't
like white at all and would much rather wear black or green.
With some difficulty she found a few things that seemed to
be enough for a start, and when she came home she donated
her old clothes, as well as all the meat products she had in
her fridge, to a shelter for homeless people, the way a real
angel should. The girl was especially sorry to give away her
favorite blue jeans, and suppressed the urge to kiss a
multicolored sundress goodbye (she decided it would be too
sensitive even for her).
 When after a few days the girl told her boyfriend about
her decision, he kissed her and said it was enough that she
shared her love with him, her parents and a few friends,
because some people aren't even capable of that, and that
she would always be the best for him no matter what, but she
said he didn't understand, and that she was destined to do
great things and dedicate herself to saving those who need
her help. Her boyfriend said it was just a bad excuse she
had made up to go and cheat on him, and when he left, the
girl didn't try to stop him, because she knew it would be no
use. She just cried and hoped that one day, after she
becomes a real angel, he would understand he had been wrong
and come back to her. Then she put herself together and went
looking for a harp and a pair of wings that would actually
make her fly.
 The wings were made of feathers and held together with
wax. The instructions explained in detail how one was
supposed to attach them to his or her back. They'd cost the
girl a fortune, and in addition to the harp lessons, the
instrument itself and the fact she didn't have a job, it
left the girl who wanted to become an angel practically
broke, but she wouldn't let it upset her. Money, she knew,
didn't matter. She wasn't doing what she was doing for a
material reward.
 From the moment her feet left the ground and she beat her
new wings, the girl who wanted to become an angel knew it
was the most amazing, unique, joyous experience she had ever
had and ever will. Something she will never forget, no
matter what. Something to tell her grandchildren, if she
ever has any. Her heart sang along with the harp she was
playing, she felt light and free, and thought that now she
probably knows what absolute happiness is, but then she
reminded herself about her great, noble mission. She was not
doing it for her own fun. There were people to save, a
purpose to follow. This thought was supposed to make her
even happier, but for some strange reason it didn't. Still,
she ignored the disturbing thoughts and flew up, heading to
that highest point right in the center of the sky, from
where she was supposed to see exactly where there is any
misery, and where she is needed the most. It was a fine
summer day and the sun was shining with all its might, but
as the girl who wanted to become an angel flew higher, she
willingly gave up all her personal emotions, thoughts and
sensations - including the strange hot wetness behind her
back - for the sake of the whole, so it was already too late
when she realized her wings were melting quickly.
 The girl who wanted to become an angel fell into the ocean
before she even had time to say "peace". The water was
freezing cold, and the white clothes much heavier than one
would expect of an angel's clothing. The girl grabbed her
harp and tried to hold on it like a life buoy, but it became
heavy and tended to drown too, she shook, shivered and
swallowed lots of cold, salty water. Her head began to spin,
she thought she heard a boat and tried to scream and wave
her hands to make it notice her, but then everything went
black and she couldn't remember anymore.
 The girl's first sensation was that of water rising inside
her, just as it had risen around her when she was in the
sea, and she thought she was going to drown again, but
suddenly the water came out, she began to cough, tried to
look around her and realized how cold she was. Her fever
rose, the people on the boat rushed to take off her clothes,
wrap her in blankets and put her in a bed. The girl who had
wanted to become an angel was almost unconscious. Weird
things performed some crazy dance inside her head, but
whenever she managed to hold the mess more or less together,
her only feeling was that of total failure. She hated her
own guts and desperately wanted to die, but she felt too
weak for suicide, and the thought of dying in some other
way, going to heaven (she's never been that big of a sinner,
after all) and being an angel until the end of all times
made her even sicker than she was. The worst part was that
she immediately remembered how wrong it was to hate, and
then hated herself even more for both hating herself and for
remembering it.
 With a little effort, the girl's parents were found. They
met the boat as it reached land, thanked the crew and took
their daughter home. On the way back she hardly talked, and
sometimes cried quietly. Angels were not supposed to fail!
Or maybe she was never meant to be one? Just look how many
bad things she'd done on the way: hurt her boyfriend, scared
her parents to death first by running (or rather flying)
away, then by drowning. She didn't even deserve to... Still,
mom and dad didn't seem angry with her. They've forgiven
her, although they were far from being angels. She wondered
if her boyfriend would be able to forgive her as well. And
maybe she should forgive herself? She planned, after all, to
forgive everyone else once she becomes an angel. So why not
her, is she any worse? She didn't manage to finish this
philosophic thought, though, because she fell asleep once
again.
 At home, the girl's parents fed her with chicken soup to
make her stronger, and with raspberry jam and hot tea to
help lower the temperature. She wanted to say 'no' to the
soup, because it was made of an innocent, brutally killed
bird and it was wrong for her to eat it, but not taking it
would mean offending her mother. She decided to eat it only
as a punishment she rightly deserved, but soon found out the
soup was too delicious to be a punishment, and with her
mother sitting by her bed, stroking her and helping her eat,
the whole angel story seemed almost like a childhood
nightmare, chased away by mommy's kiss.
 After two days the girl who no longer wanted to become an
angel felt strong enough to get up. She found out her
parents got rid of all the darn white clothes: they returned
the ones she never got a chance to wear, sold the rest to a
second-hand clothes store, and used the money to but new
stuff. The girl felt enormous relief that heap of sickening
white was gone. Some time passed, and she began to think
about a new job. She thought about her old boyfriend, too,
wondered if he knew about what happened to her, but felt she
wasn't ready - or brave enough - to call him yet. One day
she did, though. He sounded glad to hear her voice and asked
her to forgive him, and she said she did and asked him, in
turn, to forgive her. They talked nicely and even went out
once or twice, but eventually it didn't work. The girl tried
to play it cool, understanding and respectful of his
decisions, but it made her sick, so she wished he would drop
dead and cried her heart out for days, so hard that she felt
it was going to run out of tears and stop beating, and
almost wanted it to, but it didn't. With every new day the
hell, just like the heaven such a short time ago, seemed to
slowly let go of her. By now, she must be all right. In
fact, just recently I heard that she started dating someone,
but maybe it was just a rumor. But even if it was true, it
would already be a whole different story...