I miss those days of boredom
You know... those days of summer, full with freedom
Those days when you have all day to sleep
Those days when you say "I wish something would happen"
Foolish me... complaining about freedom and relaxation

Only when responsibility came, followed by pressure,
accompanied by strain
I realized it was heaven to lay and be bored
Bored to death
When pressure was collapsing on my head
When I woke up soaked with fatigue instead of energy
When I exercise the everyday routine like a dead zombie
Gasping for some free time to spend staring at the wall

Well, right now, I am thinking, why the fuc/ am I
complaining
I remember when days were harder
When the never-ending pain in my chest crumbled my spirit
When I thought of "departure" more often
When the cursed string of responsibility to my family and
friends kept my alive
When I curse the conscience which gave responsibility to
keep them away from suffering
I remember I wished to be released from this life, resting
in my grave
But the thought of my friends suffering instead of me, will
disrupt even my eternal sleep

This world is a living hell
I am a broken man,
Hurt in my heart, or worn out in my spirit
I want to feel the cool breeze on my skin
I want to hear the happiness of my friends
I want to see the smile of my loved one
But sometimes I want to abandon all desires and remove
myself from the world
Forever!
Then again, the one thing that is making me want to leave is
forcing me to stay.
Curse this endless loop.