'Wake up!'
'Eh?' I don't understand what's going on. Why is someone
telling me to wake up? Slowly, I open my eyes. At first I
can only see a disgusting brown thing. It's furry, and it
has an eye. It's looking straight at me.
A hand grabs my shoulder and turns me around. I scream. He
laughs.
I'm lying on my back in my boy friend's apartment. He's not
really my boy friend. We never went out on a date. I don't
even know him that well. All I know is that his name is Oz,
and he's there when I need him.
Slowly, Oz helps me get up, Inch after inch, from his dirty
carpet. I think it was once bright red, now it's just brown.
Faded disgusting brown with cigarette holes and a few other
oddities.
I hover towards the bathroom, and stumble on a beer bottle.
Beer spills on the floor in the direction on the kitchen,
but neither I nor Oz care. If the beer was fresh foam might
have accompanied the yellow slush, but it has probably been
there for a while. We look at each other uncaring. I keep on
walking.
I sit on the toilet, looking around me. My head is moving
forwards and backwards, or I'm imagining it. There's another
girl in the room. Maybe it's a public toilet.
Maybe it's the mirror.  How long since I had a shower? A
week and a half. I need to change my underwear at least.
They used to be pink with flowers. Now they're more like
black with spots. I also think I stink. No wonder. Being in
a place like this?
Not that my home is any better. Not that I don't look after
it, it's just that it's hard to keep an alley clean. From
people or dirt.  It seems that all the shit in the world
gathers in my alley. Maybe it's the world's shit-gathering
alley. And it's my alley, what does that say about me?
I take my shirt off, try to take my bra off too, but it's
not there. I don't care. I take my socks off and go into the
shower. The tap barely opens. Kreeck kreeck. A chill down my
spine. Brown water comes out.
I have had enough of all this brown!
Brown isn't even a colour, it's a red wannabe. Or black
wannabe. Or some odd creature that tried to be both at the
same time 'cause he couldn't decide what it like more, so he
came out brown. I hate him. Also pity him a little.
I go out of the shower and don't even bother to put my dirty
clothes back on.
I dry my hair with the only towel I could find. It's not
brown, it's bright green. I like that. I think he nicked it
from a market somewhere. I don't care.
'I'm hungry, I tell Oz.
'To cook you something?' He asks with a devious smile. I
returned that smile.
'Yeah, why not'
He sat on the floor and starts warming the stuff.
I sit next to him, naked, watching his craft.  He gives my
body a quick glance and goes back to his art. He injects
himself. He injects me. I dive, he floats.