1. Introduction

I am home now... and when i look through the window.
i can see the flowers and the trees...
oh.. dear mother nature... i smell the freedom.
i can almost feel that i'm dreaming.

but as i woke up...
sweating...
i realized that it was a dream.
i am in my cold cell in this horrible facility - jail.
and again, i'll have to wait patiently,
till my death sentence will be carried out, and that will
happen in two days from now.
my name is john and i'm a "serial rapist" and a
"murderer",
that's how the society labeled me.
the lowest scum of society that's who i am in their point
of
view.
but it's not realy my fault, they can't understand my
obsession,my addiction.
when i rape,and when i kill, it's my orgasm,my heroin.

"sick people like john are in a desperate need of
rehabilitation
but instead of rehabilitating them...
the "enlightened society" are throwing them to the dungeons
to rott."

that's what my pleader said in the trial,his defence didn't
help me much though.
stupid lawyer...
the nature has no laws and rules...

"i take what i want, and i want what i see."

i can't remember who said it though...



2. The next day:



so there i was... rotting in jail, with
terrorists,thieves,and
other "scums".
it is almost morning.. the sun is rising... oh, i love the
sunrises,
they can be so lovely sometimes,
suddenly,there a knock on the cell door.
the jailor entered the room with a smile..
"john?" he said, you have visitors, it's your brother
peter.

oh... my brother... i'll tell you about him,
he's a well founded porn star in the playboy magazine,he
never understood my urges,
he didn't understand why did i have to rape,
and the million dollar question what motivated me to
slaughter the victims?

well... i met my brother alright, he was eager to see me
again,
after a few months we didn't see each other, he told me
that
he talked with the lawyer again,
and they talked about a retrial,but what good will that
do?
he might claim that i'm insane again,but that didn't work
the last time.
so i went back to my cell, i fell a sleep, and again...
the same ritual of desperate attempts to revive my poor,and
suffering soul.

i almost forgot, my roommate is a serial killer also,
he was in it for the fun so we had something in common.
so there we were, two of us,waiting for our death sentence
to be carried out.

3. My last day on earth:

A priest came to my chamber early in the morning -
i didn't want to confess about anything,
i mean - why should i?
my heart of stone was planted in me by god,i should blame
him for everything.
"an antichrist till your bitter end , aren't u"?
said the jailor. as i screamed at the priest to buzz off.
but the priest didn't give up.
he cried in a heartbreaking tone - "god shall have mercy
upon your poor soul".
i forgot to mention my rommates wasn't there,he was probably
"fried" already.
i woke up late , you see...
i was very sad that i didn't have the chance to bid my
farewells.
i got my last meal though... bacon and eggs.
i told the jailor to join me,we kind of liked each other,in
a way.
"hey mike! come eat with me,it's a waste... i won't finish
it by myself"
(there was an enormous investment in the food,last and
respectable meal)
he told me that he was fascinated by my manners,and style -
"a wolf disguised to a puppy" he laughed.

it's 5 o'clock.
two "goons" with suits and badges entered the room in order
to escort me to my death.
the annoying priest was with them,praying,i wanted to shot
his head off.

"for christ sake - shut the fuck up!!!" - i shouted.

man... heh... i feel like jesus.
crucified for my "wrong doings"
i was escorted to the electric chair.
i had a chance to complete my diary almost till i was fried
though.

:)

The End