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חיפוש בבמה

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מדורי במה







אדם רובסון
/ Apocalypse Now

On the night of the full moon, the four Horsemen of the
Apocalypse met on the edge of the world for their bimonthly
meeting.

Death: 'Alright, I want to thank you for getting here on
time. Basically there is only one thing we need to discuss
today'.
War: 'Oh great! Let's get over with it and go back to our
destructive fun'.
Death: 'Anyway... It seems that our brother Plague's horse,
Buttercup, had died several days ago... from, ah...
plague...'
Plague: 'Buttercup!!! Nooo... '.
Death: 'Yeah... Moving along, War, Famine, one of us is
going to have to give Plague his horse'.
Famine: 'Are you saying one of us will be a horseless
horseman?!'
Death: 'I suggest War'.
War: 'What?!! Why me? What can't you give him your horse?'
Death: 'I'm Death! I have to be mobile! If I don't have my
horse I won't be able to do my job, I won't be there on time
to collect the soul, and all the people who die are going to
become zombies! We don't want a world filled with zombies.
They have very poor personal hygiene standards. Why can't he
have your horse, War?'
War: 'Because! Without my horse there won't be "war"
anymore! I won't be able to pass my violent message along
quickly enough to create a war. It'll just be random
quarrels. War is a vital part of the apocalyptic process,
without it a lot of people would live longer!'
Famine: 'Question, why can't plague move around without a
horse? I mean, he's pretty contagious all by himself isn't
he?'
Death: 'Famine, old chap, flu is contagious. Plague needs to
be an overwhelming epidemic!'
War: 'why not give him Famine's horse? That beast is always
lean and swift'.
Famine: 'Wha... What?? My horse? No, no way. I need that
horse! Death, I need that horse'.
Death: 'Do you... really... need him?'
Famine: '...Yes!'
War: 'Why?'
Famine: 'Well, I'm like all of you! I need to be mobile in
order to do my job!'
Plague: 'yeah but you don't really have a job, do you?'
Famine: 'What? Of course I have a job! Who do you think
dries up the earth and destroys all the fields?!'
Death: 'Well, the sun dries up the earth, and Plague usually
destroys all the fields, along with all the clean healthy
air...'
Famine: 'The point is, without my horse how am I going to
get everywhere?'
War: '...Walk!'
Famine: 'I don't want to walk!'
Plague: 'But you look like you can walk everywhere, and
let's face it, swiftness is not a vital for your "job"...'
Famine: 'What is that supposed to mean?! Death, I can't walk
everywhere on foot! If I do, I won't be "Famine" anymore!
I'll be "physically in shape", I'll be "fit", or something.
People are not going to starve!'
War: 'Good, more strength for fighting!'
Famine: 'Give Plague War's horse!'
War: 'I'm not going to be "the horseless horseman"...'
Death: 'Alright listen, Famine, this is the only choice we
have. Can't you try and walk?'
Famine: 'This is disgraceful! I am very sorry, but if this
is the case then I feel compelled to resign from this
group!'
Plague: 'Go!'
War: 'Good riddance!'

   Two months later...

Death: 'Ah, welcome brothers, welcome back. Well, there
certainly have been developments in the last two months,
since our former brother's resignation. I am glad to report
that our good friend Time and I have found a new way to keep
normal humans out of shape. It's not famine, but it does
cause obesity and... heart problems!'
Plague: 'Yes Death, truly well done with that "television"!
A great invention!'
Death: 'Thank you Plague, and err... how are you getting
along with your new horse?'
Plague: 'Oh fine, thank you! Last week we took out two
million Orientals with our new "super flu"...'
Death: 'Great... And you, brother War, what have you got to
report?'
War: 'Err...Nothing'
Death: 'Beg you pardon?'
War: 'I haven't anything to report. There haven't been any,
err, fights...'
Death: 'At all?'
War: 'Not even a little skirmish...'
Death: 'In two months?? How can that be?'
War: 'Well, I don't want to point accusing fingers here, but
it's because of your television thingy!'
Death: 'What?!'
War: 'Yeah, people seem to be sitting in front of it, all
the time. Instead of fighting they watch violent shows on
TV. No more quarrels. No more war'.
Death: 'I can't take that as an excuse, if you can't get
people to fight, then what good are you?'
War: 'It's not my fault; they're to lazy now for
fighting...'
Death: 'No! Television is good! Get out! And take your
stupid helmet with you!'
War: 'You shall not mock my mighty battle gear!'
Death: 'Out!!!'

   Two months later...

Death: 'Hello... Plague. I'm glad to see you've made it. We
need to talk'
Plague: 'What is this about? Am I doing something wrong? I
mean, you've probably seen the charts, people are dieing!'
Death: 'I know, I know, and that's great! However, another
thing the charts said was that the majority of the causes of
death... weren't plague'.
Plague: 'What are you talking about?'
Death: 'You remember that "television" Time and I
invented?'
Plague: 'Yeah'.
Death: 'Well, I know it seemed then that it was going to be
a good thing for all of us, and it did make humans a much
easier pray... but, there were side effects...'
Plague: 'Yes, it caused heart problems, so what?! So does
sleeping and eating potato crisps'
Death: 'It seems that television does much greater harm than
we thought'
Plague: 'It makes people sick?'
Death: 'Plague, it gives them cancer!'
Plague: 'What?'
Death: 'Several kinds of cancer...'
Plague: 'I don't believe this... so, what does this mean?'
Death: 'I'm afraid it means you are no longer necessary...'
Plague: 'I'm fired?!'
Death: 'You're... expected to hand in your resignation... by
the end of this week'
Plague: 'Death! What has this group become?! We used to be
all about destroying the world, now it's all about trimming
and letting people go... We've become politicians...'


Famine started his own "Ten Step Diet" website.

War moved to India and is now a great believer of the Hindu
faith.

Plague began a horse ranch in South Dakota. He's worth 1.5
billion dollars.

Death got lonely and hung himself. He's still stuck on that
rope.

Time keeps going on.

Humans watch television, all day, every day.







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לשלוח את היצירה למישהו להדפיס את היצירה
היצירה לעיל הנה בדיונית וכל קשר בינה ובין
המציאות הנו מקרי בהחלט. אין צוות האתר ו/או
הנהלת האתר אחראים לנזק, אבדן, אי נוחות, עגמת
נפש וכיו''ב תוצאות, ישירות או עקיפות, שייגרמו
לך או לכל צד שלישי בשל מסרים שיפורסמו
ביצירות, שהנם באחריות היוצר בלבד.
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תרומה לבמה




בבמה מאז 7/3/04 19:27
האתר מכיל תכנים שיתכנו כבלתי הולמים או בלתי חינוכיים לאנשים מסויימים.
אין הנהלת האתר אחראית לכל נזק העלול להגרם כתוצאה מחשיפה לתכנים אלו.
אחריות זו מוטלת על יוצרי התכנים. הגיל המומלץ לגלישה באתר הינו מעל ל-18.
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