I looked for him in toxic shame,
And twelve step gurus that I feared.
It was not there that I found my love,
It was underneath the weird.

When the mob came jeering,
shouting "Monster! Dirty Beast!',
He came gently knocking under shame,
and touched my soul with peace.

When guards did beat with batons,
Taunting "Cut his langer off!"
He whispered underneath the blood,
"This was me upon the cross'.

I found my love alone at night,
In guilt and shame and fear,
When all had fled and left me,
When all had mocked and jeered,
Then I felt his passion, just beneath the weird.

In the broken ness of nadir,
I first heard his loving song,
"Soul of my soul,
You and I are one".