It was crazy from the beginning, from the first sight. I
was
crazy, in love like a child and really didn't know what I
was doing.

She was the one who wrote me a letter. She was the one who
wanted to call me, but I did it before her. I still remember
this first letter and every single talk after. She found me
at one of The Corrs sites and it was something that we both
were crazy about. I found out that I am not the only fan in
our country and it was nice. She was very nice and sounded
good. We used to write letters to each other about 3-4 times
a day, talking about everything. At first I thought it was
weird that we had this connection, but then she gave me her
phone number and said to call one day. And I did call next
day, because I felt it might be a big friendship or maybe
even more. In one of the letters she told me that she thinks
she's bisexual, because she likes girls too, and after I was
talking to her I knew it could be true. We used to talk 2-3
hours a day, and we probably would talk more, it just was a
bit expensive.

Once she told me about this Internet chat where you can talk
to people and play trivia in the same time. It was a really
nice place. But there was one little problem- a guy who was
stacking her there. He met her not once, but she said him
from the first meeting that there's not gonna be something.
He really couldn't get it and she was despaired. I couldn't
stand her feeling bad and started to talk to him. He told me
that he loves her, and I tried to help him. But she said she
really doesn't want him. So I told him to leave it, but he
didn't listen. Of course, he said that she playing games
with him and doesn't know what she wants from her life. I
didn't believe it, because I thought I knew her a bit. It
didn't help and he still was obsessed with her, so I gave
up.

After about a month of talking at phone, online and vie
email she said that we have to meet. I was happy. A friend
of mine was going to the discotheque that Lee was going to
at Friday, so we decided to meet there. We both had a great
time, she was cute and funny and we were together from
beginning till the end. I felt in love without even knowing
it.

We didn't stop talking, it was even more talking after the
meeting. I don't know how the guy found I love her, probably
I did tell him myself in my happiness. He just said I don't
want him to be with her because I love her, and that I am
doing everything to take her far from him. He said I love
her only because he wants to be with her and things like
that. I was blamed in all his problems. At the same time Lee
invited me to come to her place. I was dreaming about her
kiss, when I was going to be I was thinking about her and
when I was coming up, it was Lee whom I was thinking about.
I loved her with all my heart. And I came there to the
weekend. We had a great time, but she was ignoring me a bit
and I got angry. I don't think it's right to ignore your
guest, and she thought I wasn't right. She said it's my
problem, that I have to deal with her as she was. I tried.

I knew her already for a long time and once we were talking,
I invited her to my place. It made me feel a bit angry about
the fact that she couldn't want to come here for a weekend
because she wanted to be at home, and not because she was
busy. She just wanted to be at home and not with me. I
started to think that she could play with me too, but I just
didn't let those thoughts screw my love up. We had a great
time again, although we had a fight again. We went to her
sister's home and she asked me how we met. Apparently, Lee
didn't want me to tell her, because she was ashamed of the
fact that we met at Internet.

I still thought she was the one for me, but then I found
that there's nothing left to talk about and that there are
many little things that were annoying me. After a month she
invited me to come to her place again, and we had a fight
again about her ignoring me. I did a big mistake this day. I
was trying to kiss her at night when we were talking, but I
was so nervous that I found myself kissing her cheek and not
lips. I could blame the darkness but I would blame Lee for
not letting me know if she wanted this kiss or not. That
made me really nervous, and I screw up. She knew I was going
to kiss her, but she just said, " It wasn't the right place"
like I didn't know that. It was one of the most embarrassing
moments in my life. She didn't care much and we never spoke
about it. After this fight her parents said that she can't
bring friends anymore, and she blamed me. I said that she
always could come to my place, but she couldn't be somewhere
else except of home at weekends, because she didn't want
to.

We were still talking at phone and in the Internet, but I
felt that something's wrong. I asked her why she's not the
same already, and she said that those are her problems and I
have to leave her with that. She also said that I am trying
to get into her life too much and that she has a right to a
private life. I thought I was one that she would get into
her private life, but I was totally wrong. She never wanted
me at all. I felt she was blaming me in something I never
did. I asked her what have I done, and she ignored me. For 3
days I was living in hell trying to find out what's wrong
and why she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I thought I
lost her because of something I have done. The day before
she left to military for 2 weeks, she told me that it's not
my fault she's feeling bad, and although I still wanted to
try to help her, I felt better. And then she said that I am
always thinking about myself only. It hurt so much!

And she left.we didn't talk for 2 weeks and I still felt so
much in love with her. That hurt even more because she never
said what went wrong in our relationship.

I saw her in our chat room after 2 weeks and tried to talk
to her. She was still ignoring me, but few days after I
found myself talking to her and suddenly it was so all
right, we were friends again. I was happy and she seemed to
be well with that too. But.a day after she said she hates
me. She didn't say why, she didn't say what went wrong that
made her feel this way. The only thing I know that she hates
me, and she doesn't want to be any related to me.

That's funny, but those days I have a girl in my life that
is very good to me, and I hope we'll be more than friends
one day. And those days I don't feel anything when I am
thinking about Lee. I only feel that my heart's broken and
yes, I am angry, but I don't blame her. Sometimes I think
that she didn't realize what did she do to me. I don't feel
much about her, but I still miss her, because she was my
friend.

The only thing I have to say now- I don't want Lee in my
life anymore, because this relation caused me too much pain.
And I need someone to be there for me, because sometimes I
feel so lonely and so scared, and Lee had a hand in it.
But.everything's gonna be fine, and one day even I would be
happy.